Rawmama: live & uncooked

Tasty lately's...

2010-06-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the lovely raw foods I have been making in the past month or so. I am feeling incommunicado for the past 6 months. Big shifts are occurring. Love and bright blessings to anyone reading this. xxoo

Update

2010-01-14T07:16:00.000-08:00

I am just posting a little update in an attempt to keep track of my own self... I am currently focusing on raw foods again. I am not exclusively raw as I eat out in ethnic restaurants about twice per week. However, my usual program goes something like this: first thing in morning- green tea or yerba mate tea with honey and lemon/lime and my handful of supplements that includes a raw women's multivitamin, resveratrol, vitamin d3, vitamin c, spirulina, blue-green algae, probiotic pearls, vitamin b12, and some other stuff that I can't remember and don't take regularly anyway... Then about 1/2 hour later I make a green juice with apple, lemon, and ginger. Then at about 10 or 11 am I make a smoothie with hemp seeds, hemp oil, flax seeds, fruit, vanilla, and some honey if it isn't sweet enough. I also sometimes add superfoods like raw cacao powder, camu powder, lacuma, fo-ti, reishi mushroom extract, maca powder, etc. I don't usually eat again until mid-afternoon when I have a salad meal or sometimes another smoothie or a green smoothie. For my evening meal I eat veggies, usually cooked, with sweet potatoes or rice or sometimes Ezekiel bread, but I am really trying to avoid eating grains. When I go out to eat I try to avoid gluten and dairy, but am only successful about 70% of the time. I do still "lose it and go crazy" about 3 times per month and end up eating pizza or some other foolishness... So basically I am all over the place but still doing OK. I have finally given up worrying about my weight and am just focusing on being healthy and feeling great. This is helping immensely and I highly recommend it... I have been very busy lately with multiple projects always happening simultaneously. This is actually a blessing as I think that it is indicating that I am finally moving through my recent bout of depression which lasted from late September until about Christmas time. This depression was caused by my own retardation. I took a job in February of 2009 as a chef/kitchen manager at a natural foods store in CT with my best friend and business partner Jamaica Barbara, you remember her, right? So Lincoln and I moved up to CT away from sunny Florida and darling husband Felix in the middle of February to take said job. You can already see where this is going, can't you... Anyhow, long story very short, the job sucked and wasn't what I moved up here to do, but the people that I worked with (not for) were great and the people who ate our food every day and were so lovely and kind and were such a blessing. Me and Barbara made some crazy vegan and raw foods in the middle of uptight, yuppie CT and people loved it, which is a very good sign. The job dissolved in a very tacky and unpleasant way at the end of September and I felt like a dumb and stupid failure until the insanity of Christmas overtook my brooding and I snapped out of it. Oh, and by the way, during all of this, me and Felix also went through the entirely-too-stressful INS permanent residency process which, thanks to all benevolent deities, resulted in him FINALLY being granted a green card after us being married for SEVEN years. Your tax dollars at work folks... A true extravaganza of red tape at it's finest. So here I am in CT, living at my Mom's, with my son who is attending public school. Felix is working in Florida and we are waiting for the city to buy our house so they can expand the already obnoxious airport and build slanted, elevated runways over two major highways... I could have moved back to Florida after the j-o-b ended but Lincoln was loving school and who wants to move back to a house that could be sold at any moment anyway? So it is not fun being away from my husband but it is fun spending all my time rearranging and redesigning my Mom's house (excuse me, the family home as she now insists we call it) and attending reggae shows in the snow. Jamaica Barbara and I are working some angles and will be selling food again soon to all of the hungry lunchers in Mystic, CT who can't find anything healthy to eat EVEN AT THE F-ING HEALTH FOOD STORE...
Signing off for now.
Blessing you all with love and scintillating light beams.

Thank-Full

2009-11-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

We return thanks to our Mother, the Earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams,
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs,
which furnish medicines for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and stars,
which have given to us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to the sun,
that has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of her children.
~ an Iroquois Thanksgiving Prayer (adapted)

Chili Miso Kelp Noodles

2009-11-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

1 package sea tangles kelp noodles, rinsed and drained
4 carrots, shredded
3/4 c. halved cherry tomatoes

toss together in a large salad bowl

dressing:
2 tsp. sweet white miso
1 tsp. honey
2 tsp. cider vinegar
2 cloves garlic, pressed
1 tsp. grated fresh ginger
1 Tbsp. braggs liquid aminos or shoyu/tamari
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
2 Tbsp. sesame or olive oil

combine in small bowl and toss with salad ingredients
garnish with sesame seeds, thai basil, chives, and whole chili peppers

Me and Linc, lately

2009-11-09T08:56:00.000-08:00

My! What a pretty papaya you have!

2009-11-09T08:52:00.000-08:00

100% pure Floribbean homegrown!

Green Smoothie Experience... Day 2

2009-11-02T06:14:00.001-08:00

So far so good darlings!
Just wanted to post this recipe real quickly-like.
Do yourself a favor and make this at once!

Royal Purple Smoothie

makes 2 qts.

5 Tbsp. shelled hempseeds
2/3 c. goji berries soaked overnight in 1 qt. water
2 T. green powder (mine was a homemade concoction of barley grass powder, spirulina, crystal manna, etc.)
1 T. honey
2 T. flax seed oil
1 lb. frozen blueberries

add to blender:
hempseeds & goji berry soaking water, reserve gojis, and blend for 1 minute

add to blender:
reserved goji berries and everything else

blend until very smooth, sometimes as long as two minutes.

Enjoy and go to antioxidant heaven.

Green Smoothie Experience... Day One

2009-11-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

It has been almost a year since I last posted here. Many incredible things have happened, maybe too many. I intend to share them with you as we go along, but right now I just want to focus on green smoothies. I have embarked on a new adventure, my very own green smoothie experience. Green Smoothies make me feel great. I feel the best when I consume mostly/only green smoothies. My goal right now is to do 30 days of exclusively green smoothies. We will see how it goes.

Here is the recipe for my current concoction:

1 c. frozen pineapple
1 c. frozen peaches
2 frozen bananas
3 huge leaves kale
1 T. raw, local honey
1 T. coconut oil
2 T. flax meal
1 t. vanilla
1/4 t. sea salt
2 c. water

blend, blend, blend some more...

love and blessings all the time...

New Blog, Different Day

2008-11-12T07:56:00.000-08:00

In light of many new developments in my life, I have started a new blog. I have ceased to be so obsessed about raw food but make no mistake about it, I am still a huge believer in its healing, magical powers. I have settled into a very comfortable and stress-free vegan (well, actually bee-gan) diet and am feeling very happy and contented with it. It feels good to be so unconcerned with what I'm going to eat all the time and being vegan feels very easy to me. I realized about 2 months ago that constantly trying to stay raw was really stressing me out. And that just wasn't healthy for me. So I decided to just be vegan for a while and see how I felt. The verdict is that I feel pretty great. My depression is staying away even under stressful conditions, my weight is gradually decreasing, and my family is happy with their diet, too. Plus we are finding that it is much less expensive to eat cooked vegan vs. raw vegan and that is a huge help to us financially right now. I am just allowing my body to guide me and we are taking stress-free baby steps toward my ultimate health goals. Don't worry, I will still be posting here on this blog when I have something raw-centric to express or when I make up a really good raw recipe or have any naked cooking fiascoes to to share with you...

Now, on to my new blog... You can find it at www.sisterlightheart.blogspot.com. It will be about my daily life, spirituality, parenting, music, anything that I feel like sharing with the entire world. And that is pretty much everything, as you all know...

Hope to see you all at my new blog and sending a big dose of light beam love in your direction! Peace and one love.

The dangers of naked cooking...

2008-11-11T05:56:00.001-08:00

The other morning at about 6:30 am, as Felix was giving Lincoln his shower, I put a couple of pieces of Ezekiel bread under the broiler to toast. Then I went into my bedroom to get ready/dressed to bring Linc to school. In the middle of dressing, a.k.a. completely topless, I heard one of the pieces of toast fall through the grate and onto the bottom of the oven so I went to investigate, topless. The piece of toast had landed on the heating element on the floor of the oven, and as I reached in to retrieve it from it's impending incineration, my naked, very ample, right boobie landed on and pressed itself firmly into the unbelievably scorching hot oven door. It fried like an egg folks. Not joking, at all. I swore so loudly and for so long that I even amazed my own self. So, I have spent the past 3 days in a fog of non-adhesive wound dressings, triple anti-biotic ointment, overly adhesive (as in pull off all remaining boobie skin) medical tape, and elasticized tank tops.
Do you think someone is trying to tell me something?
Do you think it will leave a scar?
And, no, I will not post a picture of it. Even I have my limits.

I've been workin' my way back to you, babe...

2008-09-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

OK darlings... I'm just gonna let you know that I feel like a dork blogging here when I am not eating all raw... Which just happens, you know. I definitely do not want to put myself out there as some sort of "100% successful raw foodist" poser. Ewww. But, I have decided to just get over myself and blog about my raw journey, issues and all, because my intention is always to eat raw, even if my addictions/emotional issues sometimes cause me to sabotage myself... Plus, I have noticed that writing about my challenges really helps me to process them and sometimes even helps me to release behaviors that are holding me back. So here goes, the story of my summer slide down the slippery slopes of my mountain of issues. I think I just fell completely off track during my "wanna-be-a-juice-feaster" phase which brought up every craving, addiction, and self-discipline issue that I could ever even imagine having plus a few more... Now, I'm not bashing juice feasting in any way!!! It is an amazing process with huge cleansing and restorative power. Unfortunately, it just sent me right off my rocker, which, let's face it, doesn't take much. So, after I gave up the juice feasting I just really white-knuckled it trying to resist the cravings for fried starch with sugar... Gross. Anyhow, will power, self-discipline, or whatever you want to call it, just isn't one of my greatest gifts. Needless to say, I began the lovely ping pong game of cooked (vegetarian but not always vegan) vs. raw... A game nearly as boring as watching a real ping pong game except on top of being boring it also makes you fatter, depressed and comes with a lovely feeling of self-defeat. After a while of that I was (understandably) feeling really weak and tired all the time. So I somehow convinced myself that I needed to eat more protein which led to eating eggs and even fish on about 5 occasions. I also began drinking Dunkin Donuts coffee as well. For that I can only plead retardation... I told you it's a slippery slope. Anyhow, the eggs and fish did make me feel a little more balanced and I did have a little more energy (coulda been the coffee), but I have also gained about 15-20 lbs... Ugghhh. I do have to say that I am grateful to have realized that I am the kind of person who gains weight when I eat inappropriate food for humans. Because if I didn't I would probably continue eating it until it killed me, without much concern because I would be thin anyway, seriously. The bottom line is that I get high off of cooked food. And, I have been high on it all my life. Not the easiest habit to kick. Plus, besides tasting good and being a socially acceptable addictive substance that I can get anywhere, it feels good for at least a few minutes after I eat it. However, my expanding midsection and tight clothes do not. Which brings me to where I am at right now. Experts say to replace your addiction with something that is good for you, for example, quit snorting piles of cocaine and take up jogging... I'm not sure that would work for me. I'm more apt to jog for about 5 minutes, break a sweat, and say "Fuck jogging. Snorting cocaine is so much more fun." Thank Goddess I don't have a cocaine issue. (Knocking on wood really hard) So I have decided that even though I may not be able to give up Dunkin Donuts lattes, bread, and cheese (the kind made from cow milk) for jogging, I may be able to bite the bullet and give up a cooked food high for a much healthier raw high. I know that getting high on food in general might not be considered PC in the "raw community" but I have finally made my peace with it. The bottom line is that everything we put into our bodies has an effect on how we feel. So we are all getting high on food regardless of what we eat. As an "addiction" prone person maybe the best thing I can do for myself is just to get the healthiest buzz I can manage. Maybe I can just learn to love and stop judging myself and trying to change all my "faults". So what if I like to get a good buzz on. At least my preferences in mind altering substances have improved, let me tell ya... Maybe if I can just accept that I am who I am and be happy about it I'll be OK. There is so much more to me than being fat and thin-obsessed. I'm just going to focus on doing what feels truly good and remembering that life really is one big raw-chocolate party... Maybe one day the feeling of having a healthy body will be all the high I need, but for now, it's all good. I am what I am. Peace out y'all. Big kisses and hugs. And don't forget to shake your ass today, OK?

Where the heck have I been?

2008-08-25T06:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it seems I have taken the summer off from blogging... Well, I'm back now after a very introspective and revealing couple of months. As far as raw food goes, I have been bouncing between high raw, low raw, and, unfortunately, no raw, this whole time. I think that the whole juice feasting deal kind of upset my delicate equilibrium and sent me into a spin. I just don't think that I was ready for it. Anyhow, it has been a great summer of fun and household revitalization. Feng Shui to the rescue. Now that I have balanced my health area I am feeling much more motivated to get healthier. And I can't even tell you how fantastic the benefits of balancing my love/relationships area are...

Earlier this summer, I had the great experience of meeting one of my faithful readers in person, completely out of the blue! Felix and I were walking through the Swap Shop (a huge swap meet, flea market, farmers market monstrosity in Ft. Lauderdale) and a nice lady asks me "Do you have a raw food blog?" Of course, I answered "yes". Turns out, the lady's name is Samantha and she was in town to go on a Caribbean cruise with her family and we just both happened to be in the same place at the same time! Talk about synchronicity! So here is a big shout out and dose of blessings to Samantha! I hope you loved your cruise!

And now here are some pictures of our trip to the International Mango Festival in Miami...

A very nice dinner...

2008-05-28T07:55:00.000-07:00

On Monday night we had curried coconut noodles for dinner. It was delicious. Felix the forager has been at it again... He is averaging 2-3 trunkloads of coconuts per week! I'd guess that is almost 100 per week! Sometimes they only have water in them and very little meat/jelly, but this latest batch has had tons of flesh and really sweet water. Fun!

Juice Feasting Ceasing...

2008-05-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

I am officially done with juice feasting for now... I am so inspired to create new raw dishes and get on with living my life. I feel great and definitely feel like it was an enlightening experience to live on juice for 2 1/2 weeks. It put food into a whole new perspective for me. That is for sure. Here are some before and after pictures of my face. I'm not sure how much weight I lost but I'm guessing 10-15 lbs.

Before juice feasting- late April 2008

After juice feasting- May 25, 2008

Yes, Grasshopper...

2008-05-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

Feeling fine today darlings, that is for sure! Life is grand! I had an epiphany yesterday and realized that sometimes I am just too uptight. I am too hard on myself and I over analyze everything. I just need to get over myself, seriously. All of this anal retentive worrying just isn't my style... So from here on out I am all about lightening up. Literally. My heavy thoughts and the attending heavy emotions are creating and enforcing the heaviness of my physical body. The ironic thing is that there is no need for it anymore. I am free to live however I choose. I am a grownup now. I am no longer under the oppressive heaviness that I experienced in my youth. I haven't actually been there in over 10 years. I was just emotionally stuck there, stuck in that perspective... I have been inadvertently reliving my past because I didn't know any better. It was all still too foggy, but when I began to live a more enlightened lifestyle the fog began to lift and I started to awaken and to remember, to get out of my own spiritual purgatory... It's actually a really cool experience (now that I am starting to understand what the hell is happening and I becoming am less afraid) And that, right there, is why I love raw food. It lifts the fog and lets us shine our true light. It lifts up our vibration and we begin to actualize our glorious human potential. The beauty and light that we begin to radiate comes from within. Raw food feeds the light and it begins to shine brighter and brighter. We begin to feel better and better and have more and more energy to... That is where I sometimes get confused. What am I supposed to do with all of this energy that I have all of a sudden? I would get all balled up and uptight because I didn't know what to do with myself. Now I do. I'm not supposed to do anything. I can do what ever I choose to do. I am free to do what ever I choose to do at the time. Isn't that fantastic? I am free. I made it. I am not "there" anymore. I am here now. It feels great.

Still Juicy...

2008-05-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

I am still juice feasting though I have had a couple of challenges with it. The first challenge is that we were temporarily out of cash this week so I ended up doing more master cleanse drinks than juice and that didn't really work out too well. I would feel fine all day but by the evenings I was starving and couldn't resist the temptation of the cooked dinner that I made for the fam. I don't think that the master cleanse contains enough nutrition to keep me from feeling hungry. Green juice, on the other hand, makes me feel nourished and calm and happy. I am also a big fan of watermelon juice. There is a Jamaican guy who sells native watermelons on the side of the road right next to Lincoln's school! It is like a watermelon drive-thru! I am going to start buying them from him this week now that we have some money again... The other challenge that I have had is cooking and preparing the families cooked food. It is just torturous. The smells, the taste, the whole deal. It is like a heroin addict trying to kick his 20 year habit while preparing fixes for other junkies all day, every day. It sucks. So I have been really thinking and, honestly, praying about how I can be strong enough to resist this terrible temptation and finally heal from my lifelong crippling addiction to food. I have been over at least 100 scenarios in my mind about how I can continue to cook for my family and be successful as a juice feaster and ultimately as a raw foodist. This has been my challenge now for over two years and I am so tired of struggling with it. I really, really know in my heart that my true desire is to be healthy, vibrant, and free from constantly indulging in my addiction to cooked food. I know that living raw is my path to achieving this. I just feel that I need to be free to jump into and devote all of my energy to my chosen raw path without constantly having to go back to cooking everyday. I feel like I am trying to live in two worlds at once. It isn't fun. By last night I was ready to just give up the whole thing and throw in the towel and just try to accept a life of being fat and depressed. I was severely bummed out to say the least. Then Felix finally came home (he has been working 12 hour days for over a month straight) and I was discussing with him what he wanted for food this week as I was planning on going grocery shopping this morning. He announced that all he wants to eat is juice, smoothies, salads with avocado and raw Caesar dressing, an occasional piece of spouted bread, and some raw sweets of some sort. He said that the raw food I make is really delicious and that he has more energy when he doesn't eat any cooked food. He also admitted that he has been throwing out the cooked part of the lunches that I pack for him because he realized that he gets tired after he eats it. He said that he didn't want to tell me about throwing out the lunches because he knows how hard it is for me to constantly be dealing with cooked food when I am doing such a great job on my juice feast! HALLELUJAH!!! EUREKA!!! AMEN!!! And the best part of the whole thing is that I never even said a word to him about how I was struggling with cooking for him, etc... That means that this is a miracle, plain and simple. As far as cooking for Lincoln goes, I'm just not sure how to deal with that part yet. He already has a raw smoothie for breakfast and then I pack him a vegan/vegetarian/mostly organic lunch for school. That part is no big deal and he is very happy with his lunches even though they are different than the other kids who all eat the SAD. What to feed him for dinner is a little trickier... Right now he eats mostly grain based dinners like rice pasta and homemade sauce, rice and beans (though he usually picks out all of the beans...), pancakes, scrambled eggs and toast, veggie sandwiches on Ezekiel bread, potatoes, etc. It isn't really a big deal for me to make these foods for him usually but sometimes when I am feeling weak it is still a huge challenge. Plus, I know Lincoln would feel better if he would eat more raw, unprocessed food. Plus, he has quite the love affair with soy milk which we have to work on getting rid of... I'm just going to have to do the best I can to slowly improve his diet without him really noticing. If anyone out there has any ideas on how to do this I would love to hear your suggestions...

I am feeling pretty good health-wise. I am not going to day that I feel great because I am still very tired and often cranky but that could also be due to all the emotional stuff and stress that I have been going through. I am losing weight but am not sure how much because I have banished the scale. It makes me too mental to weigh myself because I end up obsessing over it and weighing myself constantly. I figure that it is doing more harm than good so I am avoiding it. Plus I have been having my period this week and that didn't help either...

This has definitely been a serious and challenging journey so far, but I am looking forward to see what the rest of it brings now that I am more free of my cooked food demon. I think I might be starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and for that I am very grateful...

Sista Barbara is also still juice feasting! She is doing great and her diabetes is healing! Hip Hip Horay! She drinks mostly green vegetable juice and some various melon juices. She is also a huge fan of coconut water which is "half orgasmic" as far as she is concerned... She also has added some raw cacao and spirulina to her supplement regime for added mineralization and because it tastes good. If she is overwhelmingly hungry in the evenings she eats some lettuce or spinach with some avocado or occaionally a banana. She is losing weight very quickly and is feeling great!

Love and lightbeams with blissful frequencies to you all, you darling humans you!

I feel weird...

2008-05-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

Still Juice Feasting. Had a temporary detour yesterday when I thought I should have a green smoothie since I was actually salivating over the pulp left in the juicer... Bad idea since one not juice thing sort of led to another... No big deal really. I'm right back at it. Watermelon juice so far today. I am feeling very unsettled, flighty, and yet really tired. It is just really strong detoxification going on and I realize that but it still feels sort of yucky. And I am even more sensitive than usual which is always extra special. I keep seeing these brilliant flashes of light, red and white. I am being led to/finding the most interesting things in my everyday life. Plus I, who am not pregnant, feel sort of like I am in childbirthing labor... I just keep reassuring myself that it is all worth it and I am really blessing myself by undergoing this process. Ummm, ok.

Here are some more garden pictures.
Hope you are all doing great. Peace and blessings!

Juice Feasting Day 10

2008-05-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling really low energy and depressed. It got worse throughout the day and finally by last night I felt just awful. I also had really bad heartburn and all the food that I prepared for my family looked really appetizing. I never really thought about quitting this feast but I did want to eat something. I hadn't taken my oils or msm or bee pollen in a couple of days and was wondering if that could have has something to do with it. However, I think the real culprit was the "fresh squeezed" OJ and grapefruit juice that I had bought at a local citrus outlet. I asked the lady who was selling it if it was pasteurized and she told me no very adamantly so I believed her. I think she was wrong. I also put some honey into a few cups of hot tea and realized after that I was probably cooking the honey. I will not do that again. The moral of this juice feasters story is-
Juice it yourself because cooked sugars do not do a body good.

Here is a picture of the frangipani that is blooming so nicely in our backyard... Too bad you cannot smell it through your screen. It is just heavenly I tell ya!

A love and light big up to all of you darling beings! Peace xxoo

Juice Feasting Days 1-7

2008-05-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

This is just a short sweet update-

I am loving this juice feast!!! Today is day seven and I already feel like a new person. Day four was a little rough emotionally and I was tired but it wasn't really that big of a deal. I haven't had many cravings and haven't had a hard time preparing food for my family either. It is much easier for me to juice feast than to try to eat 100% raw. This whole process seems very natural actually. It is like my body recognises juice as nutrition and so I really enjoy it. I have much more energy and my skin is looking much nicer. I sleep very soundly and really love drinking the juices. Plus, I have been going to the beach with Lincoln in the afternoons for swimming and a walk on the beach. The water is lovely, though sadly, not quite Caribbean...

Also, Lincoln started Montessori school last week and totally loves it. It has been a little stressful though with the new "get ready for school" routine in addition to my morning juicing session. I am actually really loving it and feeling that I have plenty of energy to get everything done.

I don't really like the taste of the MSM at all...

I'm looking forward to learning more about this whole fantastic process that I am currently undergoing.

Love and light beams to all of you darlings out there! Every single one of you!

Feasting commencing...

2008-05-06T11:41:00.000-07:00

I have been a heavy juicer lately. At least 32 ounces per day starting first thing in the morning. I even made my way completely through an entire quart of beet greens, carrot, and friends combo that tasted exactly like mud and I even almost enjoyed it... It is like my body can't get enough, like I am finally absorbing some nutrition. I think it is really helping me. So then this morning my sista, you know, Jamaica Barbara, announces out of the clear blue that she is juice feasting. So, of course, I jumped on board and proceeded to immediately shove a huge honeydew melon and a few bunches of greens through my juicer and here I am... I don't really have any expectations for this whole process. I guess that I am just looking at it as an interesting experience and a welcome break from dealing with food all the time.

So wish us luck and send us happy juicy vibes! I'll be documenting it all here with honesty and probably some emotional d-raw-ma so stay tuned... I have a feeling that this is the part where it gets really good!

Hugs and kisses to all y'all out there! Beaming you with blessed light rays!

High Vibration Libations!

2008-05-03T17:38:00.000-07:00

There is simply nothing like drinking fresh green juice. Lately I have been juicing more and loving it. I had previously avoided juicing too much because my juicer was really obnoxious to clean and veeerrrryyyyy slow, plus I had to cut everything into really small chunks. Boring and tedious. So I didn't really do it too much. And then the other day I got a new Hamilton Beach Big Mouth Juicer at Wal-Mart for $50. I love it. Works great and is very fast and easy to clean up. It probably doesn't get quite as much juice out as my Champion-type juicer does but it's ease of operation more than makes up for that. We have been having green juice made from cucumber, celery, kale, romaine, lemon, apple, and ginger. Big, huge, quarts of green juice. I also made a very beety concoction the other day and made myself a little bit sick to my stomach though... Juicing is definitely making me so much less hungry, and I have much more energy. It is crazy to even imagine how great all those juice feasters must feel! Maybe one day soon I will get a chance to find out...

Hope you are all doing great and feeling well! Big Love to you ALL! Peace.

this morning's hibiscus and a handful of sweeties...

2008-04-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

High Raw and Happy!

2008-04-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

OK, darlings... Here is an update on my rawness... I am currently eating raw all day and then having a cooked dinner. I don't really know what "%" raw that makes me and frankly, I have given up on the whole "how raw are you?" question. My only answer is raw enough for right now. You see, after I came home from Jamaica, I realized how much stress I was causing myself by playing the whole "I need to be 100% raw or else I'm a failure" game. I'm not doing it anymore. Period. I feel like the stress that I was causing myself by obsessing about my level of rawness was doing more harm than good. Now, I just naturally tend to choose to drink smoothies, juices, teas, and water in the morning and then have some sort of raw veggie dish in the afternoon. My husband and son are "raw concious" vegetarians and I cook dinner for them nightly so I usually enjoy what I cook for them as my night time meal. I really try to avoid wheat, cooked sugar, and dairy like the plague because they make me feel terrible. I thought, for a while, about stopping this blog because I didn't know if I should refer to myself as "rawmama" if I wasn't eating 100% raw. I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to stop this blog and that most raw fooders aren't 100% raw anyway. I am just going to keep doing my thing and documenting it here. I like to blog and I like my level of rawness right now. So I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

Hope you are all feeling fantastic and at peace with where you are on your journey right now. I think you are all fantastic- NO MATTER WHAT! Big love to you all and please be nice to yourselves. Okay?

Here is a picture of a particularly gorgeous papaya from our garden. Enjoy!

The Blessing of the Coconuts...

2008-04-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Lately, Felix has been "foraging" for coconuts... Before you all start having lovely visions of my darling Caribbean husband bushwhacking his way through the jungle and climbing up wicked tall coconut palms all Survivor-style you need to remember that we live in the "concrete jungle" of South Florida... There is no jungle here but there are plenty of coconut trees planted in the lawns of the suburban sprawl. So, for Felix, foraging now amounts to driving around local neighborhoods scoping for a prime bunch of nutties and when he finds a suitable score he knocks on the door of whoever's lawn they are growing in and asks Mr. or Ms. Homeowner, very nicely, if he can please have some. 9 out of 10 times the homeowners are overjoyed to let him have the coconuts because otherwise the nuts will likely just rot on the tree until said homeowner has to pay someone to come and "remove" them since they are so "dangerous" and have been known to fall off and dent the cars parked under them... So, due to the seemingly endless trunk loads of coconuts that have been arriving lately, we have been having one big, long, crazy, coconut party around here. Even the local neighborhood kids have figured out what we have going on and come around hoping to get a nice cool coco to drink. Most of the kids on our street are first generation American children of Bahamian immigrant parents so they are hip to the whole coconut deal and seem to especially love it when Felix whacks the top off the nuts with his very intimidating machete! I, on the other hand, close my eyes or look away when the serious chopping starts... Anyhow, I encourage all of you sub-tropical city dwellers out there to start your own coconut scavenging patrol! Note to beginners- start with short trees and wear a helmet!

Love and blessings to each and every being in the whole wide Universe and beyond!

Now I will conclude by letting y'all know what I am so happy and grateful for right about now...

I am so happy and grateful now that I am so easily able to quickly manifest into my reality:
-one of those fly new Lexus hybrids, green please...
-lovely, peaceful, and harmonious relationships
-an abundant stream of cash flowing into my bank account
-the where-with-all to pay off the mortgage on our house here in Florida

and most importantly-
-a wonderful and enjoyable exit from this lifetime for Grandpa Fred... Bless him.

I have a "gut" feeling...

2008-04-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have been really under the weather lately... My whole lower abdomen has been in torment for about a week with this weird roving pain. I thought maybe it was a UTI, or IBS, or parasites, or... I have even considered going to the hospital quite a few times which says alot since we all know how I feel about the "medical establishment"... Anyhow, the last two days I have been eating more raw food, giving myself Reiki, and guess what? I know, I don't even have to tell ya... The pain is going away. I am anticipating that it will not occur at all today since I woke up feeling so much better than usual this morning. I am back in action and that is all that really matters now isn't it!

I have a recipe for you today! We have enjoyed it at least 4 times this week so I think that fact makes it a winner in my book! Only the best tried and true yumminess for you, my friends!

SWEET SESAME GINGER SMOOTHIE!

2 tbsp. raw tahini
1.5" cube of peeled ginger
4-6 medjool dates
2 tbsp. raw honey
pinch of sea salt
1 cup purified water

-blend for an eternity until reallllly smooth.
-then add in about 20-30 ice cubes and blend again.
-pour into a fancy glass and enjoy!

ps- the fancy glass makes it taste better, FYI...

Guess what? Today is Lincoln's Birthday!

2008-03-29T07:46:00.001-07:00

Yup, you heard me right- today is my son Lincoln's birthday! Yesterday was my birthday and now today is Lincoln's birthday! We have been crazy busy celebrating around here, let me tell ya! Linc is all sorts of happy riding his new Razor scooter around the house and playing with his new soccer goal along with all the other stuff! Now I have to go and bake his birthday cake. I tried to talk him into having a raw cake but he wasn't having any of that... He did request banana ice cream instead of the regular stuff though! Yipee!

Wishing my little boy the happiest 5th birthday ever and as many smiles and laughs as he can stand! Oh, and lots of love and blessings to all of you out there too!

They say it's my birthday!

2008-03-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today, I turn 32. Finally. For some reason, for the past year I have been telling everyone that asks me how old I am that I am 32. I don't know why. Maybe I was just subconsciously very excited to turn 32. It feels like this will be a very good year for me. I am actually starting to feel like a grown-up which is kind of nice but also sort of scary. As an Aries this is supposedly very normal as we are the eternal children of the zodiac. Anyhow, thanks to everyone for all of their birthday wishes, especially the darling Connie of the Naked Food Cafe who delighted me with a birthday post first thing this morning! It feels so great to be wished well by so many lovely human beings. Awww.

I have a bunch of big plans for this year (what's new?) and feel like I worked through a bunch of emotional stuff last year and am finally ready to start this year off fresh, composed, and determined. Maturity does have it's benefits.

And now for an update on my progress using the techniques demonstrated on the TLC television series "I can make you thin" with Paul McKenna. On last weeks episode, #2 of the series, we learned about dealing with emotional eating. I was looking forward to his advice on this topic since I have been noticing some good results using the techniques he presented on the first episode. I have been eating, on average, about one third of what I used to eat before I saw the show. I have also been slowly but surely becoming more in touch with my body's hunger and fullness signals which I now know I had absolutely no concept of previously. So on the emotional eating show we learned the Callahan Technique which is a tapping technique similar to EFT but simpler. I was kind of concerned about implementing the tapping technique because when I have done EFT in the past it has really brought up some intensely disturbing emotions that I have spent years repressing. Dealing with all of these repressed emotions is simply an exhausting and very uncomfortable experience. And frankly, I am scared to deal with it. But, even though I have been a little more emotionally up and down since I started using the Callahan tapping method, I would say that it is helping quite a bit. I have been able to avoid emotional/stress overeating quite a few times by doing a round or two of tapping. That is the upside. The difficult part is that by avoiding anesthetizing myself with food I still have to deal with my overwhelming emotions which, I am realizing, is just something I am going to have to learn how to do, hopefully happily. At least the tapping technique takes the edge off and I'm all for that. In general, the Callahan technique seems a little gentler to me than EFT. I do find both ways of tapping extremely effective and would definitely recommend them to anyone who in confronted by emotional or stress overeating. I am also noticing that when I take a minute to decide what I really want to eat I am often very surprised by my choices. I am increasingly choosing more and more raw foods voluntarily! Thank Goddess! For example, this past week I have been really digging celery sticks with a creamy raw dressing/dip that I made with sunflower seeds. I even made a list of all the things I could think of that I really, truly wanted to eat and they were all raw! In general, I am just thrilled about how natural this whole experience feels and I am truly grateful that the Universe blessed me with it.

Anyhow darlings, I'm going to leave you now with blessings of health, wealth, happiness and love. Thanks for caring and big love to you all!

I am so happy an grateful now that I am easily and joyfully manifesting into my life:
-a smooth and joyful immigration processing experience for Felix and I.
-financial freedom and abundance.
-health, happiness, and harmony.
-the most beautiful and vibrant expression of life that this body can muster!
-emotional comfort, poise, and calm.
-serenity and grace.
-self confidence, presence, and highest consciousness.
-irie, irie, vibes...
-the ability to be a big time philanthropist.
-total mind/body/spirit healing.

Tag- I'm it!

2008-03-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

I got tagged today by the lovely Mattye Lee and now I get to reveal five things about me that you don't already know. I took me all day to think of these five things because I'm such a blabber-mouth that I think I told you all just about everything there is to tell without exposing any not-so-innocent bystanders... So here we go.

1. I used to be a pretty good bowler in spite of myself. You see, my stepmother's family are big into bowling. And since she knew I hated it, I was made to bowl every Saturday morning for what seemed like an eternity, but was actually like 7 years or so... I was on a team/league and everything. It was so not my thing. But after seven years of anything, one gets good at it even if it is against their will... But, finally, when I turned 15 I got my first job, which leads us to previously unknown fact #2...

2. When I was 15, my then best friend moved away to Virginia and I racked up a $700 phone bill the first month that she was gone. So, in order for me to pay for the mega-phone bill, my Mom hired me out as an indentured servant to her best friend, Yvonne, who owned a flower shop. That was my first job and I loved it from the first minute I was there. I learned so much from Yvonne, who I now consider my second mother, that I was able to work very successfully in the flower industry for over 10 years. I was working as a floral designer when I met Felix and it was the last job I had before taking on my current job as full time Mommy.

3. I have participated in what seems to have been a miraculous healing. In the winter of 2000, me and Barbara (the one I went to Jamaica with) were at a reggae concert at Lupo's in Providence, RI. I think it was Stevie Marley... We were dancing and having a great time when these people bumped into us because they were dragging an unconscious and convulsing young man towards the door. So Barbara-on-the-spot bends down and starts giving him Reiki (we are both Reiki Masters) and I put one hand on her back and one hand up in the air and add my Reiki stream to hers. It probably only took a couple of minutes or so but seemed like hours, and suddenly the kid sits up and looks around with the most beautiful look on his face, then stands up and walks out of the club. All the people who were around us were standing in a circle looking at us like we were aliens. We were embarrassed and went outside to make sure the kid was alright but he was gone. His friend said he was having a drug overdose. It was a very profound moment in my life.

4. My favorite food is honey. I try to give it up all the time because it isn't technically vegan, but I always go back to it. I also use it to wash my face with and to put on cuts to help them heal faster. That's also why I get called Queen B, because of all the honey eating. Lincoln told me the other day that I like honey as much as Winnie the Pooh... Unfortunately I also share Winnie's aversion to calisthenics...

5. Now, this last one is kind of embarrassing and, well, it is just weird. Whenever, I am talking to someone from another country, especially a non-English speaking country, I take on this weird semi-British accent completely non-voluntarily and start speaking very clearly and enunciating like crazy. I think it started when I used to talk to my Kashmiri friend, Hanief, on the phone all the time. I think I just do it in an effort to help whomever it is that I am trying to communicate with to understand me better. I'm not sure that it helps though... My friends laugh at me and make fun of me for it which I think is mean because I truly DO NOT do it on purpose. I had to work really hard on not doing it in Jamaica especially because I didn't want to embarrass Barbara in front of her family... I think I did o.k. though, because no one laughed at me while I was talking to them... But, they could have just been trying to be nice.

So there you have it, 5 things you didn't know and probably didn't even want to know about me but...

Oh, and by the way, how do you like my new tunes? I take requests, you know...

Big blessings to everyone out there and sweet dreams!

No Thank You Easter Bunny!

2008-03-23T09:11:00.000-07:00

Ugghhh... Cadbury Mini Eggs... I ate about 5 last night while I was making Lincoln's Easter Basket. I ate them consciously and slowly and enjoyed them, so that was all good. No big deal. Then, this morning as Lincoln was biting the ears off of his chocolate bunny, I ate about 10 more. Same deal with eating them consciously, etc. No big deal again, so that was great. But then, about 10 minutes later, I felt really, really bad... My legs began to ache, my stomach hurt, and I felt all hot and generally yucky. I wondered, "Could all of this be from ten tiny little chocolate eggs?" Umm, the answer to that is yes, because I didn't consume anything else so that must have been it. You have to understand that back in the day I could eat a whole bag of the nasty little things and not feel a thing besides a bit of a sugar buzz. However, I am happy that I was able to enjoy the taste of the chocolate treat without wanting to eat any more than I did. That by itself is a big deal for me. I am also realizing that my body and mind are sometimes at odds when it comes to what I want to eat. In this instance, my mind wanted the mini eggs and my body wanted a raw chocolate and tahini mylkshake. Since I didn't have the stuff I needed to make the mylkshake, I opted for the chocolate eggs... Lesson learned. My body, in it's infinite intelligence, will be the one deciding what I eat from now on. I am just so glad that I can finally actually "hear" my body when it is communicating with me now... It's voice is soft and gentle and it will tolerate being ignored. (It is probably used to me ignoring it after all of these years.) My mind, on the other hand, is much louder, difficult to ignore, and definitely thinks that it knows best... I'm just so happy that my body and I are now able to dialogue! Hallelujah! I am so happy and grateful for my lovely Easter blessing!

Happy Easter to everyone out there! Blessings on your own personal resurrections and joy to you all on this blessed day!

New Experiment...

2008-03-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, at 9 pm. eastern time, TLC had a show on called "I can make you thin" so, naturally, I watched it. It was all about the techniques of this British dude named Paul McKenna who has helped all sorts of folks with their weight loss journeys. He has a 71% success rate so I figured that I would give his techniques an honest try. It is a five or six week program/show and all of the techniques build upon each other. Last Sunday's show was all about paying attention to what/when/how you eat. Paul has 4 golden rules that he asks us to follow-
1. eat when you are hungry
2. eat what you want, not what you think you should eat
3. eat consciously, slowly, and without distractions
4. when you are full, stop
Seems simple, right? Well, let me just tell ya, it is powerful. I now totally realize how dysfunctional my relationship with food is/was and how little food I actually need to eat to be full and satisfied. I have also realized that the foods I truly want to eat are nourishing and almost exclusively raw, which is a very good thing! However, because I am no longer actively participating in my all out food addiction, lots of previously buried painful feelings are coming to the surface and raising their incredibly unattractive little heads... It has been a tumultuous and often overwhelming experience but I am happy to report that I haven't overeaten even once this week and have been very happily high raw. I have also noticed that the longer I do this the healthier my food choices are becoming. I am looking forward to this weeks episode as it has to do with using EFT to deal with emotional overeating which I am a specialist at... (the emotional overeating not the EFT...) Also, Paul says to only weigh yourself one or twice per month, so I'm going to wait until the whole series of shows is over to see what my results are. In general, this approach to weight loss seems very freeing and most importantly very healing. I feel like I am actually getting to the bottom of my food related issues and for that I am very grateful.

Big love and support to you all and I hope you have a great day!

I'll leave you with my magic manifestation list of gratitude and love, love, love!

I am so happy and grateful now that I am so quickly and easily attracting into my life:
*a large and fantastically beautiful piece of tropical paradise in the Caribbean to care for, build our dream home on, and thrive upon
*a gorgeous new car
*the best relationship with Felix that I can possibly have which is filled with love, joy, comfort, and humor
*my most healthy and beautiful body/mind/spirit
*financial abundance complete with philanthropic ability
*at least 3 hours every day of quiet, peaceful, time alone...
*a healthy relationship with food and eating
*an increasing amount of presence in my life
*peace and satisfaction

I'm a 3rd world girl at heart...

2008-03-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

So I am finally back. Jamaica is/was paradise. Our one week vacation turned into two weeks (we couldn't bear to leave) and even though I have been home for about 10 days, I still feel like I left a big part of me in Jamaica. I felt this way when I came home from India, too... You see, I don't do the touristy travelling thing. No all inclusive, plastic, environmental nightmare resorts for me! I was shocked to learn that many of those places do not even allow local Jamaicans to walk on their beaches, never mind actually enter the resort (unless of course they are there to work for slave wages...) We had a real Jamaican experience and I am forever grateful for it!

We (me, my sista/bff Barbara, and little Lincoln) stayed at the adorable and very real-life Jamaican Ansell's Thatchwalk Cottages on Negril Beach. We started and ended every day with a swim in the perfect aquamarine sea. In fact, Lincoln even learned how to swim all by himself while we were there! The healing vibes that come from that gorgeous water cannot be expressed in words...

However, the best thing about the whole trip wasn't the beauty, the sea, the food, the excitement of the whole thing, no, it was the incredible people. You see, Barbara is married to a Jamaican man, named Owen, who has three of the most darling brothers in the entire Universe. The three brothers (Norris, Howie, and Vanlie) basically took care of us the entire time we were there. They got us anything we needed, cooked for us, took us all over the place and made us laugh countless times. They were fantastic!

We also got to take a trip up into the mountains to Barbara's mother in law's house. It was an incredible and totally mind blowing experience to see how people can live so simply off the land and be so much happier than most affluent Americans... We had a wonderful time with all of the nieces and nephews, who were all so brave, smart, and hysterical! They picked fresh cacao pods for us and showed us how to eat the lovely fruit. Interestingly, they often throw away the cacao beans, which, by the way, were an astonishing purple color!

As far as food goes, Jamaica is very vegetarian/vegan friendly in the form of Ital cooking, the traditional food of the Rastafarian's, who we all know I hold an extra special fondness for... We ate at a great place called "Just Natural" and also at the more fancy "Hungry Lion". I wasn't focused on eating raw, even though it would have been fairly easy to do. I was having too great of a time to worry about it! Howie and Norris cooked real Jamaican food for us and it was great. One morning Norris showed up with a big bag of ackee, yams, and breadfruit, all fresh picked from his Mom's trees! We definitely would not have gotten that at an "all-inclusive"!

My experience in Jamaica was perfect. I didn't ever want to leave and I could see myself living there very easily. I felt fantastic and beautiful and free. I felt myself thriving and was blissfully happy. Lincoln felt the love too and it was great to see him experience the West Indian side of himself! Now that we are back in Florida and back to "reality", whatever that means, I am realizing that a major shift occurred in me during my time in Jamaica. My priorities have changed and it will be interesting to see how it manifests in my life...

Most importantly, I want to send my hugest dose of gratitude to my darling sista Barbara for making the whole adventure possible and for being such a loving and supportive blessing in my life! Thank you more than I can ever express! xxoo

Big ups to all of you peaceful warriors out there! Big love and Irie vibes to each and every Emperor and Empress! One Love!

Surfacing...

2008-02-15T11:33:00.000-08:00

Stress just took me down. Way. Down. Under. Man, sometimes it just seems like life is too tough. But- we made it through and I am very grateful for that. It wasn't anything tragic, just a bunch of stuff piling up more quickly than I seemed to be able to deal with it. I didn't stay raw and did suffer for it, unfortunately, but the past is the past and who cares about it any way, especially because-

I'M GOING TO JAMAICA!!!

Actually, me and Lincoln are going with and courtesy of my best, craziest, and most fun friend, Barbara! I am so happy I decided to be "so happy and grateful" for it in advance. Wow, that gratitude/manifestation stuff works reallll goooooddd... We leave on February 26 and I am fast becoming overexcited! Linc just wants to make sure that he has sand toys which must include a big shovel...

Big love and plenty of blessings to you and now I'll conclude with my magic list of manifestation, seeing how it works so good, and all... xxxooo

I am so happy and grateful now that I am so quickly and easily attracting into my reality:
-a damn fine car, seriously...
-enough money so I'll never even have to think about it again for as long as I live in this body...
-enough joy to make sure that I laugh out loud for at least 90 mins. per day total
-all the time I could possibly want to spend with my loved ones
-a large, beautiful piece of tropical paradise on which to habitate and thrive
-a completely fullfilling and blissful existance
-my most healthy and beautiful body/mind/spirit

Frog & Snake Medicine!

2008-02-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

Last night, after everyone else went to bed, I had a visit from a gorgeous little golden colored tree frog! This little being was very friendly and came hopping right tword me on three different occasions! I believe that when animals make their presence known to us it is a blessing and a way in which our higher self attempts to communicate with us. This is what I discovered about the messages of frog:

Frog:
DRUID ANIMAL ORACLE
Sensitivity, Medicine, Hidden Beauty and Power

ANIMAL SPEAK
Transformation through Water and Sound

Because frogs are found in water and on land they hold the magic of both. Water has long been associated with emotional cleansing. Mud, the combination of earth and water is used in healing therapies to rid the body of toxins. Because those with this medicine are extremely sensitive the use of mud baths is advised.

The frog is a totem of metamorphosis. Most frogs undergo a two stage life cycle. Eggs hatch into tadpoles which grow and eventually become adults. This signifies the awakening of ones creativity. When frog leaps into a persons life it is an invitation to jump into their creative power. To do this it is helpful to know which stage of life you are presently in. By studying the characteristics of the frog the discovery of your present life cycle is known.

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And then, if that wasn't enough, I was blessed by the presence of a gorgous snake this morning. It was just lying there on the top of the AC unit right outside the back door! Gorgeous thing it was. Here is what I learned about the massages of snake.

DRUID ANIMAL ORACLE
Transformation, Healing, Life Energy

ANIMAL SPEAK (as SNAKE)
Rebirth, Resurrection, Initiation, Wisdom

Important Snake Teaching: New Beginnings

The power of Snake medicine is creative. It is being able to shed the old and create the new, just as the snake sheds its old skin and emerges as a whole new creature. As the snake crawls away, it leaves its old “life/skin” behind, never looking back and thus always creating a new beginning. This medicine can serve as a powerful metaphor for those wishing to break free.

The snake symbolizes healing on a cellular level. Because their bodies are lightweight and flexible they have speed and agility. When they enter into your world expect swift changes to sweep through your life. These changes signify a death of the old and a birth into untapped power, creativity and wisdom. Snake is a powerful totem to have. Only those with a high degree of spiritual training, be it past or present, will be awarded this totem. It is the guardian of sacred places and the keeper of hidden knowledge.

Well, alrighty then... I guess I am in for a grand old time of transformation, metamorphosis, and creative expression via mudbaths and skin-shedding... What fun and how appropriate!

And now for my daily manifestation exercises...

I am so happy and greatful now that I am so quickly and easily manifesting into my life:
my most healthy and beautiful body/mind/spirit.
a beautiful place that I can settle into and make into our family home.
an easy and enjoyable path to financial freedom.
the completion, publication, and vigorous sale of my first book.
the best relationship I can have with all of my loved ones.
the best tropical vacation ever!!!
vibrant health through living food for myself and others.
a fun and rewarding daily yoga practice.
an enlightening daily meditation practice.
enough money to pay off our house, in full.

10 things I love and appreciate about Lincoln:
his laughter
the really funny things that he does
his beautiful smile
his wisdom and compassion
the snuggles that he gives me
his little hands and feet
his determination
his sensitivity
his non-violent nature
his contagious joy!

Bright blessings and big love to everyone out there!

PS- The spellchecker on blogger doesn't seem to be working for me right now. So if you see some typos, please understand... XXOO

Tremendous Un-Tuna!!

2008-02-02T05:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever eaten a raw food version of a SAD favorite and had it taste so similar that your body is completely fooled? Me neither until very recently. You have to understand that I am not too much into trying to imitate my favorite cooked foods with gourmet raw recipes (except for cheesecake and taco salads) because the resulting faux-SAD-rawfood-creation is never really as satisfying as the real thing, in my honest opinion. The one exception to this rule seems to be raw desserts which I personally find to be better than their SAD cousins in most cases. However, I made some un-tuna salad the other day from a recipe I found on the Raw Freedon Community and flipped my own self right out! Maybe it is because I have been a vegetarian for so long that I don't accurately remember what tuna actually tastes like but as far as I'm concerned, this stuff was really just like tuna. As a kid I used to love tuna grinders which are the New England equivalent of tuna subs or hoagies, but better, of course... They consist of tuna salad on a white flour roll with mayo, provalone cheese, sliced tomatoes, and loads of shredded lettuce (or if you are really lucky, shredded cabbage). In my pre-veggie days I used to eat at least two per week. They are probably the one thing that I really missed when I gave up eating meat. No, let me take that back, I also missed eating cheeseburgers... So anyway, I made this un-tuna salad and when I ate it, I swear to you, my body was like "What are you doing??? That is meat you are eating!!! Why are you eating TUNAFISH???" It tasted and looked and smelled just like tuna salad. Unbelievable. I served the un-tuna-salad on almond bread with cashew mayo, sliced tomatoes, and shredded romaine lettuce. It was just great. It also looked just like tuna as you can see from this picture I took of it...

Hope you are all having a lovely Groundhog Day/Imbolc... Big loves and springtime wishes to you all, except you Southern Hemisphere darlings to whom I wish a happy late summer/ early Autumn, right? Well anyways, have a fantastic day! XXOO

I'll leave you with my exercises in gratitude...

I AM SO HAPPY AND GREATFUL NOW THAT:
My son is so happy and well behaved...
My relationship with my husband is romantic and peaceful.
I am financially free and independant.
I live in the perfect house in the perfect place for me to be the best I can be.
I enjoy my life's work.
I feel fulfilled and happy no matter what.
I live in joy and bliss.
I feel greatful in every moment.
My body/mind/spirit is healthy happy and whole.
I am peaceful and at ease.

10 THINGS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ABOUT MY MOM:
She is funny.
She is loving.
She is positive and optimistic.
She is kind.
She is sensitive.
She is youthful.
She is unique and eccentric.
She knows how to take charge of a situation when she needs to.
She believes in me.
She takes great care of my Grandmother, her mom...

Something is better than nothing...

2008-02-01T05:38:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of February so I weighed myself to see how much weight I released this month... I am now 283.5 lbs. This means that I am 2.5 lbs. lighter than on January 1st. I was certainly hoping for more but if you read my last post you know what a crazy month this was. I am realizing that it is really important for me to stabilize into an all raw diet before I start trying to get all fancy and low-fat... I tend to get over-confident and impatient and want to have all the weight go away immediately and throw myself into the low fat, mono-mealing raw thang and then by dinner time I am into the cooked food... Uggghhhh.... So no more of that. Raw is all. Raw is my only concern. I have said this before, and this time I am realizing how important it is for me to really mean it! So off I go to make myself a mango and tahini smoothie!

Big blessings and love to everyone in the universe! Peace! XXOO

PS- I'm not taking new pictures this month cause the weight loss isn't really noticeable. Next month I'm sure it will be!

Also- I have decided to put my law of attraction exercises here. I do the "I am so happy and great-full now that..." list of things that I am currently intending to manifest. I also occasionally do the "10 things I love and appreciate about ______." This exercise has helped me to strengthen quite a few of my reltionships and it always makes me feel more appreciative of the people in my life.

I AM SO HAPPY AND GREAT-FULL NOW THAT:
I live in abundance and am financially free.
My relationships are all loving and very fullfilling.
I live in the perfect house in the perfect place for me to express the best of who I am.
My first book is completed and published and selling very well.
The wellness studio space in CT is completed and operating with great success.
My body/mind/spirit is radiantly healthy and happy.
My relationships with all of the important people in my life are healthy, happy, and joyfull.
I live in bliss, ecstasy, and joy.
I have the perfect wardrobe for me.
I am taking a very fun and relaxing vacation to tropical paradise.

10 THINGS I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ABOUT FELIX:
1. he is adorable
2. he is ingenious
3. he is very brave
4. his determination
5. his accent
6. his supportive nature
7. his positive attitude
8. he is a great father
9. he is very genuine
10.his friendship

Wheat is not sweet for me to eat...

2008-01-29T07:41:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting month to say the very least... Aside from big doses of everyday life drama, I had some real revelations about me and food. I started out the month of January by posting my (not the most flattering) full body pictures and my weight, which was extremely embarrassing, humiliating, humbling, etc... After I made the plunge and did that I had a big ole emotional meltdown, forayed into cooked food land, did some major binging and gained about 8 lbs. putting me at 293 lbs!!! Fortunately, with the support of many cyber darlings, I eventually dealt with the whole ordeal and was starting to feel pretty great. By mid-month I was back to 100% raw and by about the 24Th of January I got down to 281.5 lbs... I had lost about 12 lbs. in 10 days eating raw cheesecake everyday!!! I was very happy. But then, just when I was getting raw full swing, money issues came to call. I am usually not too worried if the almighty dollars get too tight as I am not much of a consumer and am pretty good at stretching a buck. However, these money issues were extreme... The guy that Felix has been working for the last three weeks decided not to pay Felix the balance that he owed... Not a small balance by the way, enough to pay for all of our bills including the mortgage and groceries and still have some left over. Also, let me mention that the non-paying guy lives in a $500,000 house and he and his wife both drive very big, diplomat style Mercedes... His reason for not paying Felix was that he didn't have the money... So, needless to say, our grocery selections haven't been the best and I have gained back 4.5 lbs. eating bread, cooked starch, etc., and I am back to exactly the weight I started off the month at- 286 lbs! HOWEVER, I am very impressed with myself because I did not binge at all. I think that the 4.5 lbs. weight gain is basically just my body reacting to food that it doesn't digest well, especially wheat... And I am definately not going to let this whole deal get the best of me... I have managed to scrape together enough food to do a green smoothie feast for the few remaining days of January. We will just have to wait and see what kind of results I get.

Big love to all of you and keep on keepin' on!

This picture was taken the same day as one of those that I dreaded posting in the beginning of January. Amazingly, I don't feel weird about posting this one at all. Thanks to all of the amazing cyber love and support I recieved during my meltdown at the beginning of this month I feel much more loving and accepting tword myself and my wonderful resiliant body! I am sending big, huge, heartfelt gratitude out to each and everyone of you who reached out and helped me during my recent dark days! Your love has healed me!!! xxoo!

Inspirational Blogger Award Love Fest!!!

2008-01-22T19:58:00.000-08:00

I have recently been honored by Shell with the Inspirational Blogger Award... What a lovely surprise that was especially since it was given to me by such a remarkably cool lady!

"For those bloggers who inspire others through their words and actions. With a positive attitude, and uplifting spirit these bloggers make the blogosphere a better place, and encourage others to do the same. This award is for bloggers who rise up to set an example but continue to reach out and support others."

Part of this award is that I now get to pass it on to five other inspirational bloggers. How much fun is that!!! So here are my picks:

Connie of the Naked Food Cafe and Banana Island shares her raw vegan journey and lovely life with spirituality, humor, joy, and lots of love. She is ultimately compassionate and remarkably wise. The support that she has offered to me on my own raw path has been an invaluable treasure.
I advise anyone to stop by her blogs for a daily dose of goddess love!

Starfire's Blog is the #1 rated blog on Alissa Cohen's Raw Food Talk! She is a Hawaiian Hula Goddess with a remarkable raw transformation story. Starfire offers support and inspiration to so many "rawbies" and is greatly loved and respected by me and so many others! Plus her posts are so much fun!

Check out Mattye Lee's Raw Progression and you will find a unique and very interesting lady with a passion for raw living. The progress that she has made on her own quest for health is truly inspiring and very motivating! Mattye is currently writing a book on frugal raw living which I am sure will be a big help to all of us living raw on a budget!

Australia's own Annette and her blog Free Spirit Life has been one of my favorites since it discovered me this past summer. Annette and her family are truly free spirits living a nomadic life down under. Her blog isn't necessarily a raw food blog but she is a raw enthusiast. Her poetry, musings, and observations remind us all how interesting life can be when it is lived outside the box!

Rawstazia is a persistent and spiritual woman who's raw food journey always reminds me of the power of faith combined with living foods. Her honesty and frankness in sharing her story is wonderful. Her compassion and understanding for others is apparent in her writing and also in the support she so generously shares with others. I am cheering her on!

Now we will have to wait and see who my five picks for the inspirational blogger award decide to pass on the love to. Remember ladies- you need to pass it on to five other bloggers each! Talk about spreading the love...

Big blessings and all love to all of you out there! Yeah, every single one of you!

The best citrus ever!

2008-01-17T14:10:00.000-08:00

I just got back from the "farmers market" and ate the most delicious citrus fruit ever! The sign said it was called a satsuma and it looked like a larger version of a clementine but with warty skin. It still had leaves on it as it was so fresh from the tree. What a lovely thing it was, my little satsuma. Now I wish I had bought like 50 of them or something...

I'm feeling better by the day. Not like I'm on a raw high or anything but just not depressed as much and when feelings come up I try to recognise what they are and deal with them right away. I have a lot of old emotions to release so I'm trying my best not to shove them back down time and time again. Better out than in as far as I'm concerned. I am starting to form a theory about this whole depression thing... I think that it is just chronic emotional detox that we have no idea how to deal with because many of us are brought up under massive stress and in a spiritual void. Let's face it- we as humans don't live naturally or anywhere near how we were intended to. Depression is just one of the natural results of this. It's like when you see animals in the zoo who are lethargic and obviously bummed out. If they were living in their natural environment I'm guessing that they wouldn't be depressed. I know that if I had been born and raised and still lived naturally in tropical paradise, eating tropical fruit, and swimming in warm blue water daily I'd certainly be a hell of a lot happier.

Big loves and blessings to all of you darlings, whoever you are...

What a revelation!

2008-01-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

I just have to tell you all that after writing my last post, I felt immediately better. I felt like by writing down all of my emotions and being truthful to myself and everyone else out there it freed me of the bad feelings that I was writing about. Like they left my body and went into my computer and onto my blog and then were gone from me. Wow! What a relief. And then when I read the beautiful comments that the post/I received I felt even better. I have always been afraid to express my negative emotions because I thought that it would make people uncomfortable and then they wouldn't like me. Much to my delight, that doesn't seem to be true at all! This has been a very poignant few days for me I must say... This must be what therapists are talking about when they go on and on about "releasing your emotions." I was always afraid that if I started letting all my negative feelings out they would never stop coming and it would literally kill me. I think that I am starting to understand that the opposite is what is actually true.

I am focusing on raw food. Period. I know that it is what works for me and I am not going to worry anymore if I am doing it right or not. If it's raw, it's fine with me.

Love and my deepest gratitude to you all...

With my head buried in the sand...

2008-01-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

Wow. It has been very difficult for me to come back here, to my own blog, after my last post... I am finally really realizing how deep this whole obesity/food addiction/emotional pain all goes. How one thing totally leads to another... The pain of my past is trapped in my fat. I haven't wanted to believe that this is true because it means that all those years of abuse, emotional torture, and abandonment are still with me. I have spent 20 years stuffing down the truth of who I am and how I got this way. I haven't wanted to admit how bad it all was. But now, I realize that if I want to become the vision of myself as a totally healthy and vibrant being that I have in my minds eye than all of the horrible memories, visions, and feelings that I couldn't deal with as a child must be dealt with now. And the scariest part of it all is the anger that I have been suppressing my whole life. I feel like a bomb that is ready to explode and the only way to keep it from blowing is to bury it under a bunch of heavy, deadening food. I overeat to suppress my own overwhelming emotions from the past and the present. I can tell the exact moment when all the cooked food has left my system because an electrical feeling comes over my body and I begin to feel lighter, happier, and more confident. But then, within a few days, after I have lost a few pounds, these overwhelming emotions come up and I have to deal with them one way or another. And, honestly, I really don't know how to do that. As the hyper-sensitive and spiritually gifted child of an emotionally aloof (and often just emotionally absent) and completely dysfunctional family I have few of the skills needed to process feelings. I feel, as ever, alone and unprepared for the task at hand. I would just be so much simpler if everyone would have at least tried to be nice to each other so I wouldn't be standing here alone, crying, trying to clean up everyone else's shit. Sorry for whining. I really do try not to be such a wimp.

Releasing this extra weight in 2008!

2008-01-03T16:24:00.001-08:00

Over the past week or so I have been doing some serious soul searching and re-evaluating of my priorities and life path. I have come to realize that my constant concern over being so overweight (morbidly obese, actually) has been taking up so much of my energy for over 20 years now. Worrying about how fat I am has been a part of me for as long as I can really remember. It is time for me to let both the extra weight and my concern about it go. I choose to feel free, light, vibrant, and well. This is the year for me to accomplish this goal. So from here on out I will be posting my weight and a current picture of me at the beginning of each month. I feel that this exercise will make it clear to me how much progress I am making and hopefully help to keep me from backsliding as I have done so often in the past. And maybe, just maybe, this journal of my progress will help to inspire another being who is walking their own similar path.

May this new year bring you all joy, light, and the most beautiful of blessings!

OK- Here goes!
Starting weight: January 3, 2007- 286 lbs.
Here are two pictures of me at about 285 lbs. One was taken this summer and the one with Linc was taken in November 2007.

Doing great!

2007-12-28T19:26:00.000-08:00

I'm doing great with the low fat raw thang... I have lost 3 lbs. overnight and will be excited to see how many more are gone by tomorrow morning. I am not going to document my food intake like I said I was though. It just gets too obsessive compulsive for me and besides I am always losing my little piece of paper that has what I ate for the day written down on it...

I made a great smoothie yesterday and thought I would share it with you!

Cherry Papaya Paradise Smoothie:
1 small papaya (ours was from one of the papaya trees in our backyard... awww...)
1 10 oz. bag frozen cherries
1 peeled lime
1 banana

Blend forever and enjoy with your eyes closed imagining you are in tropical paradise!
Makes a little over 1 quart and I drank the whole thing myself...

I have fooled around long enough...

2007-12-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

OK kids! No more messing around for me. I have now been raw conscious for over two years and am at the exact weight I was when I first discovered raw foodism... This is only due to my constant backsliding and getting on and off the "wagon" innumerable times in this two year period. I have lost (and regained) the same 10-30 lbs. at least 10 times. Well, I have had enough of all that. I'm back with the Raw Food Boot camp crew at Carlene Jones' amazing new Rawk Village. I am currently participating in a 4 day fruit only challenge which will hopefully help to peel off the newest 5 lbs. of holiday chub that has recently attached itself firmly to my ass... And yes, it is 100% pure cooked vegan chub. I will be documenting my food intake and weight loss here for a while at least until this whole 100% low fat raw thing becomes second nature which will, with any luck, happen sooner rather than later... It has been an eye opener for me to realize that I gain weight just as easily eating cooked vegan food as I do eating SAD/vegetarian. I don't get as depressed eating vegan though. It seems like when I eat veggie/SAD I am depressed, binge, and gain weight. When I eat cooked vegan I also gain weight and binge, but I am not as depressed. When I eat high fat raw I don't really lose any weight and I have massive cravings for cooked food but I feel really happy and well. And when I eat low-fat raw I lose weight really quickly, feel great (almost so great I don't even know what to do with myself), have almost no cravings and definitely no depression. I actually find myself on such a raw high that I freak my own self right out. But, I am going to have to get used to it because low-fat 100% raw is what works best for the weight loss and that is what I am all about right now. I have sincerely had it with being fat.

Hope you all had a great holiday and wishing you the best in the new year.

The best CHAI ever!!!

2007-12-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

I have been noticing lately that by allowing myself to have and enjoy my beloved cup of chai tea first thing every morning I feel very satisfied and happy. I love chai tea. It is my favorite drink, period. But, I was noticing that the soymilk in the chai made me feel lethargic and started me craving cooked food immediately. So last night I put a couple of organic chai teabags into cold, purified water and let them "steep" overnight. When I woke up this morning I served the tea over ice with fresh, raw almond milk and raw honey... It was absolutely the best chai ever! I loved that it was cold and the almond milk and honey tasted better to me not having been heated up by the hot tea. This will be my new morning ritual.

Lincoln made a really great batch of green juice this am. Nothing cuter than a 4 year old making the morning juice...

I'm working on about 25 projects and 3 paintings all at the same time so I really gotta go now...

Good News!

2007-12-12T08:58:00.000-08:00

I listed on Ft. Lauderdale Freecycle that we have 4 papaya and 4 mango trees (little, sapling trees that volunteered from our compost pile) to give away. And guess what- the response was HUGE! I had about 20 responses in less than 8 hours! I didn't think that anyone would be interested in them because we have seen so few people here in South Florida who seem to do any gardening at all... Which, BTW, I find very strange as the weather is fantastic even if the soil is kind of sandy... I think that the huge response from so many who wanted to "adopt" out little baby trees is such a great indicator that people still do value home grown fruits!

We generally just throw all of our compost items- mostly just raw fruit and veg scraps-into what could be loosely described as a compost pile and guess what, so many gorgeous little plants just spring up from where we threw the scraps. Felix, (who is the one who can actually identify the baby plants) and I have decided that from now on we will pot up the little plants and give them away for a very small donation (just to pay for the pots, soil, and water)from time to time. It feels great to pass on these little gems to such happy gardeners.

A strange thing is happening to me, I am naturally craving more raw foods. It seems like since I have taken the "be 100% raw or else" pressure off myself I am now automatically choosing to eat more raw... In my honest opinion, after 2 years of "struggling" to be a "raw fooder", the key to getting all raw is staying vegan, and offering yourself more and more fresh, raw choices that you genuinely desire because they are delicious and you actually like to eat them more than your old cooked food standbys! I realize now that any time I eat any animal products, and especially dairy!, it seems to instigate a binge and also make me ultra, ultra emotional and very angry... Funny thing is that when I was trying to "be strong" and stay "100% raw" and "conquer my cooked food addictions" whenever I fell off "the wagon" it was always for something containing cheese and usually white flour, things which I hadn't eaten with any regularity for quite a long time BEFORE I ever even attempted to become a "raw fooder"... I really applaud all of the raw teachers who advocate a gentle transition from cooked to raw, especially for those "aspiring rawists" with eating disorders or even mild dysfunctional behaviors regarding food. For me, as soon as I heard about raw food I thought, this is the cure I have been looking for! I believed, because I was led to believe, that if I was able to completely give up all cooked food I would be healed of my obesity and food issues forever. And since giving up eating meat had been so easy for me, I just figured that abstaining from cooked food would be just as easy... Boy was I wrong about that one... So if you are having a hard time being a "perfect" raw fooder, just know that you are not alone and to try being gentle with yourself. You are perfect, whole, and magnificent, just the way you are right here, right now. And I commend anyone who has even the slightest interest or motivation to accept responsibility for their own health. Blessings on your own, very personal, raw journey...

Peaceful, easy feeling...

2007-12-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

I have cleaned and applied Feng Shui principles to my office/laundry room and I feel so much better! This area of my house is the wealth or love/relationships area of the house (depending on who you ask) so it was vitally important for me to fix it up and make it pretty. Well don't you just know- we woke up this morning to a man calling Felix about a very good job from an old friend of his! And then I found a person on freecycle who is GIVING AWAY FOR FREE an entire house-full of beautiful furniture! I am waiting to hear back from him about the stuff but it would be great to have a couple of new end tables, plant stands, coffee table, etc. And- we have had our 1995 Isuzu Rodeo parked in our backyard since March of 2006... It was looking pretty ghetto and seriously detracting from the nice gardens Felix just put in. So yesterday Harry,the car magician, came over and had the truck running and moved from the backyard to the front driveway in less than 5 minutes and all it cost was $20! Hallelujah! And the truck is actually running really nicely even though we were told by a few people, not Harry the car magician, that it was only good for the junkyard... Yippee! So to all of you out there who are Feng Shui curious- try it! It works miraculously! I have used it, to a varying extent, for 10 years now and am convinced of its power and effectiveness! Try it you won't be sorry...

I am really happy with my diet these past few days. I have been 60-70% raw and all vegan except for honey and 2 eggs a couple days ago. I haven't been eating any cow dairy at all, and I have noticed a big difference in my vitality level and haven't had any bad moods. I have typically been eating: a cup of chai with honey and vanilla soymilk in the morning when I wake up, a few hours later a homemade hummus-avocado-tomato-sprout mountain sandwich on Ezekial sesame bread, at around 2 pm I make us a raw cacao-maca mylkshake and we sit on the front porch and moan and smile while we drink it, then for dinner I usually make a lowish fat combo of beans/tons of veggies/starchy veggie or grain and a big, raw salad with raw dressing. We also have been making a green juice about every other day. I am noticing that when I don't eat all fruit meals my mood is much more stable and I don't get that massive "high", which is good. So far, this seems to be the best diet I have been on for some time as far as keeping my depression at bay AND keeping my mood stable-ish at least. My digestion is also much more happy than when I eat really nut-heavy meals. I have not been binging at all and think this has a lot to do with not feeling deprived and stressed out about my diet. I am just eating what sounds good and healthy for me at the moment. Being stressed out the whole time I am trying my hardest to be 100% raw seems to be less healthy for my body than being %70 percent raw with a stable mood and happy, optimistic outlook. Besides, I am still losing weight, about 2-3 lbs. per week.

Love to you all and big, fat blessings!

Peeling the onion...

2007-12-07T19:00:00.000-08:00

Just so you all know- I Love Jesus, too, just in my own special way. I just re-read my last post and realized that it could have been considered a little off-putting... So, I apologise for that.

Anyhow, I have been about 60-70% raw and mostly vegan, my weight is stable and coming off very slowly, and I am relatively happy and even optimistic. I am loving the green juice and Lincoln has been such a lovely juicer operator, even if he won't actually drink the juice when he is done making it...

I am a fire dragon (according to Chinese astrology and most people who know me even a little) and usually have pretty strong defences (like hard, protective dragon scales) and am also considered quite aggressive (note the fire blazing from my mouth and nostrils) BUT I am also (underneath my impressive serpent scale armour) actually extremely sentimental, overly sentimental... When I eat only raw foods, I literally feel raw, as in "stripped of skin and with the underlying flesh exposed, sensitive because of this" just like according to Oxford American Dictionary definition 6 of "raw"... You know, like when you have an injury, like a skinned knee, and you take the band-aide off and the wind blows on the boo-boo, how sensitive it feels? Well, that is how my whole being feels when I am all raw. I am so emotional and sentimental and feeling like I have been struck by lightning. It feels like giving a really intense Reiki treatment all the time... I honestly am not sure how to function, day to day, with that level of feeling and raw energy blasting through me. Everything just seems to be too much! I mean, I was considered to be an "overly sensitive child" even when I was on the "worst diet ever"...

So, I am doing the best I can. I am happy with myself and achieving balance in my life. I am not suffering and I am satisfied.

One love and all blessings to you, too...

What?

2007-12-01T11:11:00.000-08:00

So our neighbors have had on Jesus music since 8am., blasting loud in their backyard and they are all in the house. Maybe they are playing it to scare off the unruly local pagans, heathens, and sinners? Then about an hour ago they lit their BBQ grill and used, it seems, about a gallon of lighter fluid to get the charcoal going. So between the loud music (all about sin and repentance) and the noxious fumes from the grill, my house isn't smelling so nice... And then just a few minutes ago, they put PORK on the grill... So now we have hellfire and brimstone, nasty carcinogens wafting through the air, and the completely unholy, god-awful smell of burning pig flesh... And all of this on a gorgeous Saturday perfect for having the windows open. (BTW, we are the only ones around that I can see that actually have the windows open.) But it seems that we are now in a ventilation unfriendly, AC mandatory, be scared about going to hell in a hand basket, and eat the roasted remains of a being that lived it's entire life in misery and slavery kinda place right now... Makes a nature girl like meself wonder what the hell I am doing here? (Besides drinking my raw carrot-cilantro wonder soup...)

Celebrating two years of raw conciousness...

2007-11-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

I'm back in action. We left Connecticut last Monday at 10 am. and almost immediately stopped to a dead halt in NYC on the delightful (not) Cross-Bronx expressway for two hours because an oil truck spilled its cargo all the way across I-95... Lincoln had a meltdown in the backseat because he didn't want to pee in a bottle, not that I would have either, but he finally did and then settled down and we were moving southward once again a short while later. That night we stopped at a Hampton Inn in Selma, NC at around midnight after 14 hours in the car. We specifically stopped at the Hampton Inn because on their advertisements they state that they have very comfortable beds with cotton linens and lovely cotton duvet covers. I really dislike synthetic fibers anywhere near my skin and especially cannot abide those plasticized motel blankets... So the Hampton Inn lies! Their beds and linens are not any more comfortable than any other crappy hotel I have ever stayed in! Just FYI... The next morning we were up and ready to go at about 8 am. and decided to hit the hotel breakfast bar before we started driving. So bagels, cream cheese, pasteurized OJ, and tea with half and half later we hit the road. I knew that it wasn't ideal to eat that food but figured that I wouldn't be such a big deal. I started to get anxious about 4 hours later and we had barely even hit South Carolina, by Georgia me and Felix were arguing, and after a Subway sandwich in north Florida (veggie on whole wheat with pepperjack cheese and mayo) I was crying, nearly hysterical and downright miserable... We finally made it home at 10:30 pm on Tuesday night. I drove the whole way. The first thing I did when we got home was clean the refrigerator from top to bottom, inside and out, sterilization style. Then I plugged it an and nothing... It was dead. We ended up at the pancake house, you know, the international one, at about 1 am eating nasty omelets while Felix and I had a "serious discussion about the future of our relationship"... The next morning I went to two home depots and the Habitat for Humanity Re-Store and finally bought a fridge, on credit..., and drove it home myself in the giant rented home depot truck... I then proceeded to go grocery shopping at two stores braving the day before Thanksgiving crowds. Unbelievably, I felt pretty good. I put all the groceries away and went to sleep. The next day, Thanksgiving day, was a nightmare and is now sort of a disgusting blur. I was totally exhausted, the house was still not all cleaned up and I had dinner to make, a cooked vegan dinner. I do not know why I didn't just give up and go to bed. Me and Felix fought all day and then made up and then finally ate dinner at 6 pm. I didn't even eat very much although it tasted great if I do say so myself. By 10 pm I was in the throes of such stomach pains and gastric distress that I cannot even think of it without breaking out in a sweat. The sickness lasted until Sunday, yesterday morning. Then, last night Lincoln started throwing up at 11 pm and didn't stop until 6 this morning. We had to clean the path from his bed to the bathroom about 4 times and I am still doing all the laundry. So needless to say we are wiped out and a little more than exhausted. So if you were wondering where I have been, now you know. I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving the moral of the story is- Never go on a road trip without a cooler full of enough delicious raw food to last the entire trip and then some. I wouldn't wish my experience on my worst enemy. I'll be back tomorrow, hopefully well rested and maybe even back to my usually optimistic and happy self. After all, the sun is shining, it is 80 degrees, and we have coconuts and plenty of papayas growing in the jungle formerly known as our back yard garden... Peace y'all and one love.

Indian food escapade...

2007-11-16T18:54:00.000-08:00

My pants are definitely getting looser. So I am feeling good about that. I have been running all over the place getting things done before we head back to Florida. I am going to be so happy to have some coconuts and oranges, and sunlight, of course. The Indian food got a hold of me tonight... It didn't taste too good though and I didn't eat too much of it. I definitely don't feel the need to eat any more cooked stuff either after I had the Indian food. So the key will be to get right back to the raw love ASAP.

Today I ingested:
32 oz. green lemonade!
lemon herb tea w/ stevia
small piece dark chocolate
mango/cherry/cashew mylkshake... YUM!!!
rooibos tea with raw honey and fresh raw almond milk
warm miso broth with mushrooms and baby arugula (much tastier than the Indian food that followed it)
normal sized plate of Indian takeout... (didn't taste as good as I expected- Thank Goddess!!!)

Still on the salads...

2007-11-15T19:29:00.000-08:00

Today I ate/ingested:
2 cups of chocolate chai tea with raw honey and fresh almond milk
about half of a perfect pineapple
mixed baby herbs and greens with an avocado, mushrooms and sweet mustard dressing
almond butter, cacao, and maca mylkshake
another of the same salad I had earlier
1 Tbsp. of coconut butter

I am very happy that I am still loving the salads and actually enjoyed two of them today. I also was craving a vegetable juice but was too lazy to bother making it. I had a hard day today emotionally but I am starting to feel better now. We are leaving to go home to Florida on Monday morning so I am really busy getting packed up and ready to go. I am very grateful that we will be back in the sunshine before Thanksgiving.

Dehydrator Drama, Butter Lettuce, and Labradorite...

2007-11-14T17:14:00.000-08:00

So, I have a confession to make. I don't really like salad... I know, I know, such blasphemy from the mouth of an aspiring raw fooder. But, I just don't usually like it, until tonight that is. I have discovered butter lettuce. It is so delicious. I ate two darling heads of the hydroponic delicacy and loved every bite. What a breakthrough for me. I really, really liked it. I didn't eyeball Felix and Linc's tofu and soba noodle stir fry with even the slightest touch of jealousy. It is practically a miracle. I just ate my butter lettuce with some delicious sweet mustard dressing and drank my vegetable juice, happy as could be. Thank you Universe.

I don't think I like dehydrated food, except red pepper flax crackers. I don't even like the smell of the dehydrator while it is running, and yes it is clean! I couldn't even face the stuff that I made in it yesterday. It just doesn't appeal to me. I have been this way since I got the thing and I know it is just me because everyone else seems to love all the stuff I make in it, even my SAD friends... I also think I have gone off cashews, again. They just don't taste that good anymore. Well, except when you make them into raw cheesecake, which I intend to do tomorrow. I have this whole freezerful of nuts and seeds and I couldn't care less about them. I even went to the health food store today after my meditation with my friend Barbara at her healing arts office and ended up buying dried veggie snacks and dried bananas because the thought of eating the nuts in a Lara bar totally turned me off. I don't even know if the things that I got were "really raw" or not but they were the only non-nut rawish snack in the whole health food store! Get with the program, local health food store! I really would rather buy my stuff from the neighborhood HFS and not drive all the way to Providence, RI to Whole Foods, but when practically all the local place sells is supplements, health and beauty aids, and organic meat, it kind of leaves me no choice!

I got a new bracelet today from my favorite jewelry store. It is labradorite and I love it. I am very particular about my jewelry and I think my taste in it is different from most people. I like more rustic, artsy pieces not fancy kinds of stuff. I always pick out the weird pieces that no one else buys, but then everyone always comments on my jewelry and asks where I got it... Anyhow, I just learned that Labradorite is a power stone, allowing you to see through illusions and determine the actual form of your dreams and goals. It is excellent for strengthening intuitions.

Use labradorite to:

Stimulate imagination
Develop enthusiasm and thus, new ideas
To see more clearly in meditation

And also: Labradorite is an excellent gemstone for those seeking to lose weight as it balances and regulates metabolism.

Well imagine that! Love and blessings to you all and sweet dreams too!

Cooked food- too much is never enough...

2007-11-13T14:58:00.000-08:00

So I was doing the "raw til dinner thing" and it was cool for the first few days and then- Whammo!- back to the full blown cooked food binging... Ah well... At least we can live and learn. So I am back to all raw and feeling better. I have decided to "just say no" to the scale and just eat raw. My focus is eat raw for health, spirituality, vitality, and freedom from food addictions. My goal is to see how much healthier I can be at the end of one year. I have also come around to the fact that I absolutely must be prepared with delicious raw food at all times because when I am I don't even miss the cooked stuff. So today I packed the dehydrator with almond bread, onion crackers, marinated veggies for "fajitas" and I also made some raw oatmeal, and cashew sour cream. Tomorrow the dehydrating will continue with tomato-pepper flax crackers, cinnamon rolls, stuffed mushrooms and maybe some kind of tart or cheesecake or something.

Today I ate:
mango and strawberry smoothie
raw cinnamon apple oatmeal (Ani Phyo's recipe- delicious)
bowl of creamy corn chowder
a couple of spoonfuls of coconut butter (not oil)
piece of almond bread with cashew cream and marinated veggies
2 cacao truffles

I also had two cups of chai with cooked almond milk and maple syrup, but I really enjoy them so I'm not going to worry 'bout it... I'm making some fresh almond milk to have with it tomorrow along with some raw honey.

I am really looking forward to moving past the dieting mentality. You know, when you try to eat "perfectly" and as little as possible throughout the day in anticipation of weighing in the next morning and expecting to see some big loss on the scale. And then if it doesn't happen you get all depressed and say "Screw it! I'll just eat whatever I want today and start over tomorrow". Or am I the only one who does this? I am so ready to bag that whole deal... I have such a beautiful picture of myself and my life as a raw fooder in my imagination and the aforementioned dumb dieting behavior just doesn't fit into the new vision I have of myself. Besides the whole dieting drama mentality is so torturous and doesn't work anyway. I'm just gonna love myself the best way I know how from here on out. No more short and long term body goals, no more I will only eat fruit until I lose 20 lbs., and absolutely no more lying to myself out of self loathing and desperation. I (finally) love myself too much to accept that kind of crap from myself any longer. And if I slip up, or stumble, or face challenges and don't prevail, I'll just keep on loving myself and my dutiful, darling, dependable body because that is what feels the best to me now. And I am so glad about that.

Natalia Rose's "Raw Food Detox Diet"

2007-11-07T20:25:00.000-08:00

So I have just re-read Natalia Rose's "Raw Food Detox Diet" and I am in love... I highly recommend it to new raw fooders, people who love to cook but want to be raw, and those who have been struggling with staying "all raw". I am experimenting with her gradual approach to detox and am finding that my food "issues" are less present, I feel more centered, and I am losing weight. She is also a big advocate of food combining and I am enjoying learning about it.

Felix and I are both feeling better since the liver cleanse. The biggest difference is that we are both less cranky and we are sleeping better.

I am still loving the cacao. Wow! That stuff is powerful. I make fresh almond milk and blend it with dates, maca, cacao powder, a pinch of salt, some vanilla, and some ice and -holy cow- that is some good stuff. I have been having it for lunch with a salad. For breakfast I have green lemonade and then some fruits through out the rest of the morning. And then in the afternoon I have green lemonade again. And then I have a properly combined dinner. No sweat. Everyone is happy. 'Nuff said...

Liver Cleanse- completed!

2007-11-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

Well, I will never say that it was the most enjoyable of processes... The liver cleanse that we did last night comes from here... It is called the Are You Stoned? Liver cleanse and if you check it out from the link above you will notice the large, orange warning box... Well, I ignored the warning and we went for it. This cleanse calls for drinking 2 cups of olive oil and 1 cup of lemon juice. So, needless to say, that was just gross, but the reason that I chose this particular cleanse was because it didn't involve drinking any Epsom salts, which I think would be even grosser. So we juice fasted all day yesterday and after noon the day before. Then last night we started drinking the oil mixture at about 7:30 pm and continued drinking a portion ever 15 minutes until it was all gone. I am very surprised that I didn't vomit and Felix saved all of his vomiting until this morning... When we were done drinking the concoction we went to bed and lie down on our right sides and tried to sleep. It wasn't painful at all, just very unsettling. I was anxious and a little angry, which didn't really surprise me because the liver is associated with feelings of anger. I didn't sleep very well and then we both started to "use the toilet" at about 3 am and continued until about 10 am this morning. Felix got out about 2/3 cup of deep green stones and I just got green sludge... The smell of what came out of us was the grossest part... I'm not proud that such a rank, foul vapor came out of me. I feel okay this morning and Felix went back bed after showering and vomiting... I have very little appetite and we have just had some green juice and some almond milk with the pulp left in. It was quite an experience and I do feel that it was quite effective, pretty yucky but effective. Here is a picture of Felix's gallstones, nasty little things that they are... Bless him, my lovely husband who does all of these weird health related things with me. What a lovely partner I have.

Here are a few inspiring quotes from two of my favorite people:

"I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being."
Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President

"Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages."
Thomas Edison, inventor

Liver cleanse today!

2007-11-04T05:51:00.000-08:00

So for the past four days I have been eating cooked food... Uggghhhh... My body is so over cooked food. So here I am, recommitted to raw. And that is that. No matter how many times I go back and forth between cooked and raw, being a raw foodist is what I strive to be and what I know myself to be in my heart. I know I will succeed because I will never quit reaching to achieve this goal.

I had my gallbladder removed in 1997 when I was 21. It was an emergency surgery and I was very lucky to get to the hospital in time as the gallbladder ruptured during the operation. 21 years old is a very early age to have one's gallbladder out but at that time I was already 100 lbs. overweight, had been drinking/partying heavily for at least 3 years, and was eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream per day... Not a recipe for health by any standards. Having to have an important organ removed from my body at such a young age made an impact on me and I began to seriously investigate natural health and take my spirituality more seriously at that time. But, my addictions were strong and I tried and failed many, many times to overcome them. I am happy to report that I no longer drink any alcohol, eat any meat, do any drugs (prescription, over the counter, or recreational included), or smoke any cigarettes. I am basically vegan except for the occasional cheese or egg transgression, and only if I am having a binge. So that took me ten years to accomplish... But I have also left behind a wicked case of rosacea and adult acne, nightly insomnia, debilitating social anxiety, various toxic relationships, and very serious clinical depression/suicidal tendencies, just by changing my daily lifestyle choices. The health/lifestyle goals I still have left to accomplish are to have a daily yoga practice, have a daily meditation practice, be a consistent raw vegan and to detoxify off this 120 lbs. of remaining toxins from my body. What a long strange trip it's been, to say the least.

Yesterday, Felix and I decided that today is the day for the long awaited liver cleanse. I think I could definitely use it... Neither of us has ever done one before, though we have done the Blessed Herbs colon cleanse, a parasite cleanse, and a total body cleanse. So we are juice fasting today in preparation for the cleanse this evening and we ate very lightly yesterday. I'll post about our experiences with the cleanse tomorrow and maybe I'll even have a nice jar full of my very own gallstones to take a picture of and share with you all... How exciting is that?

Moving on...

2007-10-30T12:39:00.000-07:00

Today I ingested:
cacao/almond mylkshake
a small blob of almond butter
more cacao/almond mylkshake (big surprise, I know...)
curried veggie soup w/ 2 slices sprouted grain bread and coconut oil
cooked vegan dinner
goat cheese on sprouted grain bread...

I really must go grocery shopping. I burned myself pretty badly on my hand cooking dinner... Maybe I should take the hint and leave the cooked food alone, for the love of God/dess. Once I eat one bite of it I seem to lose all control of myself. When I am eating raw food it isn't like that at all. It truly is amazing. I am doing well regardless of my cooked food trasgressions and have decided to just move on. I will be putting more effort into making raw food rather than cooked food in the future. This will help me.

On the road again?

2007-10-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

So I didn't go grocery shopping like I planned but I have been raw all day and I feel good about that.

Today I ate/drank:
mango/banana/kale green smoothie
vitamin c water
very small salad with miso-lime dressing (the dressing was nasty, too bitter)
6 dates 3 Tbsp. almond butter
cacao almond maca mylkshake (this is medicine, I swear)

I have been noticing how superfoods, especially maca and cacao, taste divinely delicious to me lately. I used to only eat them because they made me feel so much better and helped to lift my depression but now I LOVE the flavor of them. I'm starting to think I could live on cacao almond mylkshakes and shots of wheatgrass juice... I won't try it, I promise... But I could, I know it.

I miss Florida. It is getting really cold here in Connecticut and the gray skies are depressing. I miss living in my own house with all of it's feng shui-ness, unique paint colors and most of all I miss the beautiful beach. I could really use some sunshine and blue water swimming. I know that I shouldn't whine considering how blessed I am and how bright my future is. It's just that the construction downstairs is going really, really slowly and poor Felix, tropical man that he is, has snow paranoia and also has about had it with all of us living in my Mom's house, even though she is a living doll. Mom did say we could go back to Florida for the winter and then come back here and finish the project in the spring. I am sort of resistant to that plan because, frankly, I just want the blessed thing done. I am ready to get the center up and running and lets just face it, patience is not usually one of my virtues... We will see what happens. I do love the winter citrus in Florida and one could easily spend a small fortune on produce in CT in the wintertime and still practically starve because the quality is not so great... It's just that all this back and forth wishy-washiness makes me feel like such a d-RAW-ma queen...

Cooked food insanity...

2007-10-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, today I ate:
cacao/almond/maca shake
dehydrated veggies snack
kimchee and raw goat cheese wrapped in cabbage leaves (I don't think I really like raw goat cheese...)
1 tsp. almond butter
and then...
I ate a bunch of cooked vegan food...
but, I didn't eat any birthday cake at my grandmothers birthday party.
Happy Birthday Grandma! We love you with all of our hearts!

Oh well, tomorrow is another day and I will be going grocery shopping. I must make sure that I don't run out of delicious raw foods to eat as when I am hungry I seem to have very little will power...

Mother India...

2007-10-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

So I have given up all the tea drinking. It isn't raw and that's that. I also have made peace with the fact that cashews aren't the best thing for me to be eating. Almonds yes. Cashews not so much. I know that raw cacao is questionable on the how-healthy-is-it-really scale, but I really like it and it seems to make me feel quite nice plus it tastes great combined with maca which helps my depressive tendencies immensely. I tend to believe in superfoods. All the ones I have tried have made me feel better and have also caused me to have less of an appetite. So I think that might be due to them providing the massive nutrition that my body needs. Remember that I was raised on some serious crap for food so I suspect that I have some serious nutritional deficiencies going on. I really wanted to eat some more of that baked rice pasta that got a hold of me last night but after I had my cacao smoothie this morning I forgot all about it. I have been all raw, all day and I feel much better. I had some energy/bodywork this evening from my friend Barbara and it was really great. I had some great visuals while she was working on me and we both got the message that it is time for another trip to India... We are going to go on May 1st, 2008, probably for 2 weeks. I am really happy about it and have been yearning for India ever since I was last there in 2000. We are going to be taking a group of people this time so if there is anyone out there who wants to have their mind blown with some serious old school guru love, let me know. Be warned in advance though, you will never be the same again... We are planning to fly into Bangalore and do the Baba ashram thing as well as Pondicherry/Auroville, Sri Ramana Maharishi's ashram and, of course, Goa... I have big love for Calangute and Baga Beach, big, big, serious love. I almost didn't leave last time I was there.

Today I nourished myself with:
about 2.5 quarts of almond/cacao/maca smoothie love!
water with vitamin c packets
salad with kimchee
dehydrated veggie snack
cinnamon lara bar
glass of unsweetened almond milk

Oh, and a really weird thing happened to me this morning. When I got up to pee this morning I weighed myself and saw that I had gained 5 pounds since yesterday. Then I went back to bed and had a really bizarre dream about a huge sale at a crappy discount store near my house and slept for like 2 more hours. When I woke up again I re-weighed myself and had lost the 5 pound gain. Strange.

Tomorrow is another day...

2007-10-26T09:01:00.000-07:00

I wasn't hungry yesterday, but I think I made up for it today... Geez.

Today I ingested:
2/3 bottle of Kombucha
a not so great mango
deeeelicious creamy green pepper soup...
juice of 2 heavenly tangerines
4 handfuls of popcorn... I don't know why.
vanilla tea with honey
raw applesauce (delicious, but I made it too sweet...)
maple vanilla tea with honey
broccoli and tomatoes with lemon and olive oil
a few bites of baked rice pasta casserole (slippery slope is right... whoa Nelly!)
banana almond smoothie

I have been coughing like crazy but I don't feel really feel sick . Maybe it is another strange detox symptom to add to my list. I'm sort of downish today though so I'm going to have another cup of tea and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Embodiments of Love...

2007-10-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

Today I wasn't too hungry so I ate/drank:
water with EmergenC vitamin packet
vanilla tea with honey
small Cacao Cashew smoothie... Yum, Yum, Yum...
2/3 of a lara bar
1/2 of an avocado
2 mugs of warm miso broth
a few sips of ginger Kombucha

I might eat more later but also might not...

Me, Linc, and Felix took a wonderful walk at the Pequotsepos Nature Center, in Mystic CT, today and it made me feel great! I didn't get winded at all and was walking quite fast. I feel like I might just be able to sleep well tonight after such nice, relaxing exercise. By the way, my recent difficulty sleeping isn't due to the raw diet. I have recently quit a habit which I have had for some time that was quite sedating and I think that is what is causing the wakey wakey... I think, all together, I feel the best and most stable I have ever felt in my whole life. My rawness feels "real" now and not just like I am practising. I am comfortable with my ability to make raw food that I appreciate as much as my former cooked food favorites. I have also been able to make a limited amount of simple cooked food for my family and it hasn't really tempted me too badly. I just keep reminding myself that cooked food eating is a very slippery slope for me and that I don't choose to feel depressed and lethargic anymore. This has helped a lot. I'm feeling rather mature in my choices and strangely in control of myself. It finally feels good to be me. My guru, which I have had since before birth (he kind of comes along with being born into my family) calls human beings "embodiments of love". I love this and am beginning to feel this way about all of us, too. Raw food and purity of the physical body is an amazing thing for me to experience, even at the beginning level which I am currently at. I am feeling bright and optimistic about my future and the future of our planet. Love and blessings to all of you, embodiments of love that you are!

A nice day, today...

2007-10-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

Today's food intake:
cacao/almond/maca smoothie
vanilla tea with honey
cacao/almond/maca smoothie again...
avocado, carrots, pickle
white tea with honey
lara bar
almond milk

I feel pretty well today and have had lots of energy. This is great considering that I didn't sleep too well last night.

walking thru the doorway...

2007-10-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

Today I enjoyed:
echinacea tea with honey
mango-sesame smoothie
an avocado with salt and pepper
frozen grapefruit/orangeade
chocolate/almond/maca smoothie
salad with spicy almond cheeze
vanilla spice tea with honey
redbush tea with honey

My cold/detox is better, almost gone. I feel really good. Like I have finally walked through a doorway that I have been struggling to get through for a little over three years. I am even closing the door behind me. I'm really serious about this whole life thing this time.

Big loves and beautiful blessings to all of you out there!

Doing alright...

2007-10-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I ended up eating some leftover rice pasta and sprouted grain bread...
No big deal... But I am feeling a little like I have a small cold which could be detox or I could have caught a little bit of Lincoln's cold... I'm feeling good otherwise and am happy and not depressed, so that's cool.

today's food:
green lemonade
avocado and 2 apples
chocolate almond date mylkshake!!! Yum Yum...
2 delicious medjool dates w/ sm chai with raw almond mylk
spicy almond cheese and live gardenburger on spinach with tomatoes
2 bites of Linc's vegan mac n cheeze...
mango almond mylk smoothie
4 more dates...

I was very hungry today.

I'm back!

2007-10-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

Been all raw for a few days now and am feeling much better... I had been eating mostly cooked food for the past couple weeks and my depression came back full force and with a vengeance (along with 15 pounds...) I have had a really rough time of it and feel like I have been to hell and back. I was so down, so low and then just decided that I'd had enough and went back to raw. By the morning of the second day all traces of the sadness/depression had left me. Every time this happens I am amazed... So here I am and raw I intend to remain. Eating cooked food just isn't worth it.

Today I enjoyed:
iced chai with raw almond milk
vanilla tea with raw honey
mango/date/almond milk smoothie (WOW! this was a lovely thing!)
apple, Asian pear, avocado, pecans, raisins (snacked on these all afternoon)
green soup with walnuts, spinach, red pepper and tomato (another good creation)

I have decided to document my food intake here daily as well as any observations...
Love and blessings to you all!

Off on a lark...

2007-10-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

I have been cooking like crazy...
Fall just came upon us quite suddenly and Felix's brother, Brian, was here for 2 weekends helping out with the construction and I made loads of delicious cooked food! Funny thing is, of all the food creations I've made lately, a fruit salad of honeydew, golden kiwi, and huge red globe grapes which I de-seeded lovingly, by hand, was my favorite, by a landslide... I even wanted to make it again later, but had run out of fruit entirely...
I think I am having some identity issues...
I'm craving fruits and green smoothies and cacao drinks and gardenburger in red cabbage leaves. So that is a good thing, no?
I've been reminding myself lately that I am what I eat, and so I should take care to eat beautiful, vibrant, natural, foods.
I'm off to dreamland now. I have a feeling you will hear more from me soon...

Figuring things out...

2007-10-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up around 8 am. and got Linc and I ready to go on a nature walk with Auntie Barbara. I ate a bunch of pineapple and was loving how it was so sweet and golden. The walk was beautiful and Linc had tons of fun finding all the purple trail markers. I ate some dried pineapple from the health food store which was labeled "low-sugar" I was into pineapple so I bought it anyway... It was severely sweet and set me off big time... I ended up eating a meatless sub with tons of shredded cabbage on it so it could have been worse. I know I am eating these non-raw/heavy things to keep my feelings/emotions down but I know that they have to come out sooner or later. It seems like the only person I feel really comfortable enough to let my feelings out around is Felix. Poor husband... Sometimes I really let him have it and it has absolutely nothing to do with him. I'm going to have to get myself sorted out with this issue and soon. Now that I realize what is actually going on I can figure out how to manage it all. Still a bit overwhelming though... I know that EFT is very effective for me but brings up a ot of stuff so I need some time alone after a session of "tapping". Needless to say it isn't esy to get time alone around here.

Bright, bright sunshiney day!

2007-09-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

Update- all the drama is over and all the cooked food is out of my body. I feel so much better. I feel like there was some big emotional releasing going on due to the EFT I did yesterday. It is an amazing technique and I highly recommend it. I'll be doing more of it as I go along. I am feeling so fine and getting ready to take Lincoln to the laundromat... He loves it and since the laundry room got bombed out in last weeks concrete explosion, we are off to the land of the triple loaders! Here is a picture of Lincoln making raw chocolate sauce last winter. Aww...

You are what you eat...

2007-09-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

So this past few days with all of the serious demolition work and the full moon and all I have consumed some let's-just-say not optimal foods, due mainly to stress eating. I found them to be not so comforting. I got a major headache, twice and have been angry and irritable. I ate pizza and did not like it. That was a major breakthrough. I have basically come to the point where cheese, although it sounds good to me, just tastes gross. I love to eat fruit the best now. Especially sweet, juicy Bartlett pears. They have been so delicious this year. I did some EFT this morning and it brought up some major stuff... It was a tumultuous day to say the least. I am all raw today, though, and that always makes things feel better.

Construction update...

2007-09-22T18:10:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of today's fun with heavy machinery. It was a blast...

What a long, strange week it's been...

2007-09-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

This last week has been very, very, active and productive in quite a few ways. As far as the construction on the wellness studio space goes, Felix has been working extremely diligently and with multiple large and extraordinarily loud power tools and soon we will have seven (yes 7!) big gorgeous windows where there were once just huge slabs of concrete! The grand finale will be tomorrow when the backhoe arrives to take the giant chunks of cement out of the walls... Lincoln will be beyond excited to wake up to some serious heavy machinery! I will be very happy when it is quiet again...

I have read Dr. Doug's 80/10/10 book and have been experimenting with his program/techniques. I love how I feel when I am doing the low fat, mono-mealing thing but have still been struggling with the emotional eating aspect of me... I have yet to EFT myself and must make some time for that soon, when it is quiet.

My Mom, who is the the world's best darling, and I were talking tonight and we decided that we, as a family, need a happy rambling van. So whenever any of us want to get away or take a little time out in nature/camp or what have you, we will be all set. Mom is interested in learning to kayak and so it would be great for her to get away for weekends, etc. It will be good for me to have as a get away car when things get too much for me and I am afraid my head will explode... We decided that it should have a really comfortable and roomy bed in the back and Linc just recently discovered a brand new, never used, boat sized Porto-potty abandoned in the old marine store that is in our side yard. The joys of living in a boat yard... So we are doing pretty well with this whole project already and now we will just start the van fund and wait for it to show up!

Love and blessings... XXOO

Birthday cake blues...

2007-09-10T16:07:00.000-07:00

So I made it seven whole blissful 100% raw days and was feeling great, high and happy. Then I ate a piece of Felix's cooked birthday cake and that was all she wrote... (this is not the first time that I have been derailed by a birthday cake...)I feel like such an ass. Just when I start making some real progress, I go and blow it. So, I have been struggling to get back to raw and it isn't really working, plus it is the new moon and that is a tough time of the month for me, too. But, I was reading about his new moon in Virgo and it is supposed to be a great time for me to begin healing my health/weight issues. Speaking of that, why do people automatically assume that just because someone is obese they are ill. I am very, very heavy, over 120 lbs. overweight, BUT- I haven't been sick or to the doctor (except for chilbirth and a lyme tick bite) in nearly 10 YEARS!!!! My blood pressure is fine. I don't have diabetes. I have no digestion or gynecological issues. In short if you were to give me a physical and didn't know my weight you would consider me to be extremely healthy. I am just fat. And, by the way, I only lost like one pound during my stellar 100% week. So I ordered Dr. Doug's 80/10/10 book and am going to see what I think of that... I have an intuitive feeling that my liver is not happy digesting all the fat that I have been eating. We shall see.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!

2007-09-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

I have big raw love for chia seeds! I made a glorious pudding from chia seeds and almond milk with honey and OH WOW! It was so good... Like a tapioca memory. Awww. By the way, these pictures are NOT of chia pudding! It isn't really all that attractive, unfortunately. Tastes outstanding though! These pictures are of a broccoli mash and miso gravy plate (from Ani Phyo's cookbook) and a pate' platter (from my own mind). They were both delicious.

I have committed to 30 days 100% raw. I am feeling great about it and have decided to continue with my diva diet principles. I am eating gorgeous, luxurious foods and lots of superfoods. I have noticed that when I eat lots of maca, green powder, algae, hemp seeds, etc., it is much easier for me to stay raw. I guess that eating all of the concentrated nutrition is what my body really wants. It doesn't want more calories, just more nutrients. I remember reading something about how most obese people are actually very malnourished and that is why they have such huge appetites. It is because they are literally starving to death so their bodies tell them "eat! eat! you are starving!" I think that I read that in the China Study. Excellent book by the way. I highly recommend it.

I am going to start some more batches of Kombucha going again today as well as some sprouts. I'm also going to work on my website, finally. And later, if I still have more energy, I will make some bread and veggie burgers to put in the dehydrator. And also some flax crackers, especially since Auntie Yvonne had such a love for them.

Oh, Lincoln got his first bee stings today. He got over the whole ordeal really quickly though and I am very proud of him. Bless him, my little prince, with the bee stings on his arm...

Motherload of Mangoes!

2007-08-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

So this afternoon Linc and I went to our favorite store, the Raj Cash and Carry Indian Grocery Store. Every Wednesday afternoon they get in cases and cases of wickedly delicious mangoes. They are so sweet I can barely eat them. Felix can sit down and eat 8-10 in one sitting. He eats more fruit than anyone I have ever known. It has been his biggest food group his whole life. Of course, growing up in tropical paradise on "Fantasy Island" kind of lends itself to that sort of thing, now doesn't it? Definitely better than the Lean Cuisines, drive thru dinners, and popcorn with Parmesan cheese that I grew up on...

I got a pound of raw cacao powder in the mail today... And a pound of maca should be here tomorrow. That should be fun...

More tomorrow. It's past me bed time.

Decadent Diva am I!

2007-08-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

So for the last few days I have been re-in-love with coconut oil. I had been using it all the time in Florida. It seems really appropriate there... In Connecticut, not so much. Well, lately I have been feeling more fatigued then usual, and because I have this really weird bug bite (what I suspect is a tick bite... I know, I know, I've already been treated for Lyme disease twice...)I decided to start in again with the coconut oil because it is supposed to help your immune system fight off all manner of cooties. So I did and then decided that I would put the oil in my smoothies because I don't love to eat it straight up in a big, yucky, greasy glop. Who can blame me? So, of course, the results are amazing! I'm feeling great and have much more energy AND- my smoothies are DELICIOUS! Man, oh man, I have been creating such decadent, creamy, smooth creations and I am loving it... The coconut oil cuts down on my hunger tremendously, so I have been able to eat a diet of mostly creamy smoothies (aka MYLKSHAKES! I mean who am I trying to fool here?), cake, pate' with salad and, every one's favorite, ice cream, and then more cake. I don't eat much of any of these things, a normal sized portion (big breakthrough...) and I eat about every 4 hours or so. I call it the diva diet! And- I have lost 4 more pounds! I didn't want to look because I was saying to myself (in my head- not out loud) "Why would I even begin to imagine that I would lose weight when all I have been eating is ultra rich princess diva food?" But guess what darlings- I did. Four pounds in four days and I even ate cooked food for dinner a couple times and I have my period! Unheard of folks... Let me just tell ya. I think I am really on to something here. I am feeding myself ultra satisfying, super beautiful, super foods fit for a Queen and thriving... I guess that is just one more piece of evidence that I am, in fact, Queen B! Feed yourself like a queen, turn into a queen. I really does seem to be that simple. Thank God/dess! Here's to all of our raw royalty out there, all you Dukes, Duchesses, Princes, Princesses, Kings and Queens, Empresses, High Priestesses, and various Lords and Ladies... Big raw love to you all!

Sunday, Sunny Sunday!

2007-08-26T06:07:00.000-07:00

So I bought "Ani's Raw Food Kitchen" by Ani Phyo and I think it is really great. I am inspired by her fresh, simple recipes and love the blurbs she includes about green living. Also, Ani seems to be mostly interested in making food that tastes divine as opposed to spouting any sort of raw "dogma". If it is raw it seems to be cool with her! I also love how she leaves the fiber in all of her recipes. No more straining nutmilk! I have been making many of the recipes and find them to be very delicious and satisfying. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in raw food, newbie or long-timer.
Things are moving right along on the construction project downstairs. We are having a little bit of a hard time rounding up the required workers for the required payment... Everything is more expensive in CT. In Florida we were amongst Felix's friends who are always there to help each other out. It is definately not that way in CT. Oh well. Life is beautiful, regardless. Still Connecticut is so very uptight and oh, so, New England... I feel the tropics calling... I hear the drumbeats... I smell the flowers and coconuts... We will just have to see what happens now won't we! Gotta love the raw liberation!
Peace, love and all blessings!

What?

2007-08-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

I really do try, in this blog at least, not to dwell on my ridiculous behavior regarding food. Today, I will digress... I mean, seriously, I ate Carvel Ice Cream Cake! It was a three year old friends birthday party (Happy Birthday Beauty Queen!) and I just had to have a piece of cake... Now I know that any "normal" person who happened to be reading this blog would be like "Whatever lady, just get over it! It's just a piece of cake! You were at a birthday party for heavens sake!" Yeah, yeah, I know! But, you see, I DON'T WANT CARVEL ICE CREAM CAKE IN MY LIFE ANYMORE WHAT-SO-EVER! Why does disgusting, chemical laden, loaded with refined sugar, skanky non-food even appeal to me? Am I punishing myself? Am I rewarding myself by poisoning myself? Is my body suicidal? I have such a strong desire to be a total raw vegan, that means NO COOKED FOOD, never mind nasty crap non-food. I really am devoted to my health and spirituality and also to the health of the planet, so why is this so difficult? Ever day when I wake up I intend to be all raw, all healthy, all day but by 4 pm (or even before if I have had a stressful day) I am into the cooked food and feeling like a loser again! By 10pm I am plotting my raw-strategy for the next day! It is total obsessive weirdness... And so here I am, sitting at the computer, pouring my heart out to you with a belly full of heavy, not-digesting food that I made for the rest of the family for dinner but managed to eat a hearty portion of my own damn self! I often fantasize about how my days would go if I had my dream life, imagining myself doing yoga in the early morning sunshine, juicing and preparing divine living foods and enjoying them, beautifully presented, sitting at the table eating with a knife and fork like a human, giving myself mud baths in the summer sunshine, meditating, teaching Lincoln to chant (which he is actually really good at naturally, it seems) teaching and serving others on their own paths to wellness... Truthfully, the only thing stopping me from doing any of this is myself and it has got to stop! I really have no other obstacles to my dream life other than my own self. I feel so ungrateful for not making the most of my abundant blessings in life. I think it is time to get out the EFT technique again. I toyed with it this past winter and was having remarkable results and I think that it just freaked me out and I stopped doing it, not knowing how to handle my new found peace and calmness. It was unnerving, severely. Sometimes I think that it is just because I have been seriously overweight for my whole life, or at least since my parents got divorced when I was seven, and I just don't know what to expect out of life in a slim body. It is like I am hiding from myself or something.

Smooth, green morning...

2007-08-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

The wind is blowing like crazy here! The hawks, turkey vultures, and what I believe is a *!!!bald eagle!!!*, are soaring over the river on the big gusts of breeze. They are having such a blast! Maybe I'll fly in my dreams tonight...
I have been staying with the liquids, juice, green smoothies, and blended salads. I finally feel like I actually might be digesting and absorbing some nutrition. What a concept! I'm feeling much better and am getting ready to go to the farmers market, health food store where my darling friend is currently working, and then to the Indian grocery store. What fun! Linc and I are looking forward to this hunting and gathering of the groceries expedition. Wish me happy mango hunting!
Love, blessings, and massive prosperity for all!

Juicy...

2007-08-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

So I am heeding the call of the juicer... I have been loving it! Seems like nothing makes me feel better than nice fresh juice. So I am going to stick with it for a while and see how I feel. I am listening to my body and keeping my own council... Things have been hectic around here with all of the construction, gardening, child rearing, etc... We are progressing pretty quickly and I am loving seeing my dream take shape.
Love and blessings to you all!

I had to take a nap...

2007-08-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

So long story short, last night I ate lasagna, which contained white flour noodles and dairy cheese. And then I drank coffee, with white sugar and half and half. I didn't even really like it, any of it. I mean it was good, but whatever. So I am taking that as a good sign that my tastes are changing along with the fact that this morning I felt so sick that I immediately put myself on green smoothies with only one kind of fruit and one kind of green. All day, along with some ginger tea and a nap and by 6 pm I was feeling more normal. So then my friends came over and I cooked dinner, not cheesy and noodley but still vegan cooked, and I ate it! Just ate it without any second thoughts at all. I consumed such beautiful pure food all day to make up for last nights transgressions and then go and do it again tonight! I can't believe that I used to eat like this, heavy cheesy food, all the time! It literally makes me sick now. Especially the dairy! At least my reaction to this non-raw food is showing me that I am, in fact, detoxifying and my body is getting healthier with my high raw vegan diet, even if the weight is slow to come off. I am healing. I can feel it.
Also- I made and enjoyed a really delicious blended salad this evening. I think I finally have them figured out now... I just make them like I was making a salad, dressing ingredients and all, and then just blend it in the Vita-mix and delicioso! I am definitely going to be including more of these into my diet. What a lovely way to enjoy my greens.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day involving more self discipline... Man, if I only had a dollar for every time I have said that!

All balled up...

2007-08-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

Man, sometimes I am so uptight and anxious I freak my ownself right out... Right now, for instance, my beautiful, darling, charming, gorgeous, hilarious husband is trying, with all of his might, to get me to pay attention to him. But no, I am utterly compelled to finish this blog entry because, after all, it is what I set out to do. It doesn't seem to matter to me what I actually want, it is always about what I feel that I should do... I guess it could be that I am such a total Yankee. A swamp Yankee. A product of generations of Puritans, Shakers, and Quakers. Daughter of practical New England. Land of Lacoste and "good taste". But then sometimes, I just totally let loose and feel like I must have been adopted from the last, secret, tribe of untamed Amazon Warrioresses. Maniac style. I have quieted down some lately in the past few years since having Linc, but back in the day I could really have some outstanding adventures. I never even knew what I was going to do next. I guess that lately I have been more plagued by the "what-should-I-do's" but I blame that totally on parenthood. Which is cool with me, to be expected. I guess that my whole deal is actually that I am an extremest. No wishy washy moderation for me. I don't seem able to line that one up at all... I actually just wish that life could be one long outrageous summer vacation that never ended. Where anything was always possible. Living in a land with no limitations... But after all, that isn't really reality... Or is it? We should be practical... Or shouldn't we? Back and forth... Back and forth... You see now, how it happens, this? Get ready, I think this next one is going to be a real duzy...

It's recommitment time again already!

2007-08-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've been slipping up. My low-fat raw with mono-meals all day deal has hit the skids... Bummer, I know. Serious bummer, actually, because during the three days that I actually did follow my own dietary rules I lost a whopping 7 lbs.! Of course, I have since put three back on but at least I have finally learned how to rapidly lose weight on raw food. So, I'm recommitting to my raw wonder plan again, and again, and again, if I have to. I am so totally doing this! Last week I was flying on a raw high and felt so good I think I freaked myself out... Plus, for some weird reason, I always start to flip out and sabotage my own progress when I start to lose noticeable amounts of weight. I think that in the 1.5 years since I have learned about raw food I have lost and regained the same 20 lbs. at least 10 TIMES!!! That means if I had just stuck with what I was doing I could have lost like 200lbs. by now! And since I only need to lose 120 lbs. or so, that would mean I lost 80 lbs. more than my original goal! Madness, pure madness! Does anyone else out there suffer from this same form of raw retardation? Or am I as alone as I feel? Well, at least I have maintained my original 30 lbs. of raw weight loss... And of course, I'm not suicidally depressed anymore... So that's not too shabby after all...

Loving the fruit!

2007-08-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

I went to the grocery store this morning and it was a produce wonderland! I wandered in and out of the isles, a few of this a few of that. It was lovely. My best booty was six gorgeous and super luscious purple figs and eight honey sweet golden kiwis. I took some pictures of the charming little fruit plate I made for Felix. So there you are- another beautiful day...

So far, so good...

2007-08-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

So I have been all raw and reasonably low-fat all day yesterday and today. I have been eating fruit mono-meals during the day and then having a salad and maybe something sweet later on. I have been eating no later than 9 pm which still needs some work but whatever. I feel really good and think that the easily digested fruit meals in the day have been helping me to have more energy, oh yeah, and the marathon 12 hour sleep last night probably helped, too. The peaches are sweet and the blueberries fat. All is well and I am feeling just fine. Love and blessings to everyone out there! Sweet dreams.

OK so far...

2007-08-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

OK, so yesterday was the first day of my new eating plan. It went pretty well. I did really well with the mono fruit meals during the day. I wasn't hungry and I felt satisfied and energetic. I wasn't obsessing about food at all. Then in the evening Felix asked me to make some Pilau' (a Caribbean rice and lentil dish that he taught me how to make and now I make it wayyyy better than him!) so I said fine and everything was cool. I cooked the rice, vegan by the way, and we went along to meet our friends at the beach with the steaming pot of Pilau' in tow. It was about 5 pm and I realized, only after we had gotten to the beach, that I didn't bring a salad for myself... I did bring a bunch of watermelon to share so I just ate some of that. Then I went for a longish swim in the FREEZING cold water and when I got out I was HUNGRY!!!! The watermelon was all gone so I caved in and ate some rice, and then some veggie chips, and finally some toast and tea later on when we got home. I am still OK with all that though because I know it all happened as a result of poor planning and not because of anything else. I already knew before all of this that once I start eating cooked food it immediately becomes a problem for me to stop. So that was not a big surprise and I was impressed with myself because I didn't eat much of any of the cooked items. No volume eating yesterday at all. So at least I am making some progress. I am already back on the watermelon this morning and loving it. Oh, and I forgot to tell you all yesterday that I am also incorporating some green powder in my drinking water as well. So here I am at 10 am on Sunday morning feeling fine and eating fruit and drinking green water. The world is good and I am feeling fine. Love to you all and Happy Sunday!

OK and now back to the raw food portion of our programming...

2007-08-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

So it is Saturday morning and I just woke up from a marathon 12 hour sleep. I guess I was tired... When I went to bed last night I was so depressed I didn't even know what to do with myself. I spent much of last evening on the couch watching makeover and modelling "reality" shows and that definitely didn't help. Especially because I noticed that all the "gorgeous" young women on the modelling show also seemed to be completely depressed. I mean, more depressed than me. I know it probably didn't help that these gorgeous, young, size 2 ladies were constantly being told to lose weight by their "agents" who it seems are some of the rudest, most superficial, people ever to walk the face of the earth. I'm glad that I am not really "into" fashion but I was kind of pissed to see that these "perfect" women did not seem to be enjoying themselves or happy in any way. You see, I have always had this little fantasy that once I reach "my goal weight" I will suddenly become this happy, peaceful woman who is suddenly unaffected by anything upsetting and waaaaayyyyy less sensitive to the every day dramas than I currently am. I know, ridiculous. But seeing just how ridiculous I was being certainly added a little more juice to my depression stew. So I just went to bed. I mean what else can a girl do. But now it is the glorious warm sunshiny morning and I am feeling much better. I finally had a really good nights sleep and I am ready for action again. I have come to realize that I all really need to do is care for myself and love myself. I am so great-full for this astounding life that I have been blessed with. So I have decided that I really need to take my rawness seriously and make it into a more nutrition based approach to fueling my body. Plus, I could really use some digestional healing. Granted, it isn't nearly as fun as sexual healing, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right? So it's mono fruit meals for me in the daytime and a nice salad with a nut/see/avo based dressing for my evening meal which should be eaten no later than 8 pm. I think that this approach to eating is kind and loving to my body and will also help me to achieve my weight loss goals. Besides, I just simply have to much to do to be spending all my time fooling around in the kitchen making raw cakes day in and day out... And after all, peaches and watermelon are in season, so there is really nothing for me to bitch about, now is there? Love to you all and thanks for caring. XXOO.

Bye Bye Bailey...

2007-08-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

So we are having a really sad time around here. Our 17 year old doggy, Bailey, passed away. She was a really great dog and NEVER did anything wrong. We will all miss her very much and I personally am really hoping that there is indeed a doggy heaven. Please send us all some love and light as we are all very bummed out and could really use it. Love to you all and sorry to be so depressing.

Let them eat cake...

2007-07-31T18:09:00.000-07:00

So lately I have been insanely busy. There just seems to be no way around it. I've been working and attending picnics and dinners at family and friends. It has been a whirlwind. I've seen the plumbing, heating, and electrical guys all in a two day span. All the news is good (read: not too expensive) and we are moving along toward our goal. I've made three cakes/pies this week and all were successful and delicious. I like cake... The best of the bunch was a delicious peach confection topped with a creamy cloud of goo that was reminiscent of tapioca pudding. Yum. I also made a glorious blueberry and mango cheezecake and even took a picture of it to share with you darlings. Hope you are all well and sending you massive love and light! Peace.

Ummm, weeeellllll....

2007-07-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

So basically I have been absent from here, still haven't finished the kitchen fixing up, still haven't put together my altar, and still haven't dealt with all of the red tape... So, ummm, I am basically totally behind, have a pile of new things to attend to and still have to finish up last weeks stuff. OK fine. And the funny thing is that I don't even mind. It'll all get done sooner or later. And probably sooner. Besides, Felix and I got to have the whole weekend together, alone. We went for two great LONG hikes, and I only had to wear my flip-flops on one, as I managed to forget my sneakers. A big huge thanks to my Mom, who took Lincoln to her friends house for two whole, quiet, relaxing days. A blast was had by all. So I am happy, rested, contented and ready to get my rear in gear. Just you watch.
So much love and blessings to all of you darling beings.

Red tape...

2007-07-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

I spent most of today working out the kinks in my massage therapist licenses in 2 states as well as getting a handle on my national certification... I am not one who loves paperwork and I don't have the most respect for state and regulatory agencies simply because I don't think they are usually at all effective in regulating whatever it is that they set out to regulate and they cost me hundreds of dollars each year and make me fill out so many stupid forms... How does filling out a form and paying $300 each year keep the great state of Florida free from hookers masquerading as masseuses? It doesn't. Besides, I don't think many hookers would bother going to school for at least 600 hours and filling out aforementioned forms and papers and don't forget paying the big bucks! There are NO massage police people! I don't even know why I bother to play their red tape game except that I need to to get insurance (I know, don't even get me started). Anyhow, I feel better now. Thanks for listening to me rant.

So because of my day of red-taping I didn't finish "operation kitchen clean up".
Maybe if I had made my Goddess altar BEFORE I attempted all this I would have had better luck... When will I learn?

The stuff in the dehydrator was disappointing, to me at least, Felix and my Mom loved the sesame bread, though. The chocolate cookies were good but didn't get crunchy. The flax crackers are plain and slightly boring but I wanted them like that so I could make tomato sandwiches with miso mayo on them. Yum.

I'll be back to my positive self tomorrow, promise.
Love to you all and remember to keep your paperwork straight.

Back in Action!

2007-07-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

So Lincoln has recovered... He woke up this morning all happy and healthy and energetic and I was so relieved! Thanks you so much for all of your healing love vibes... Very effective, they were.
I am overhauling and raw-ifying the kitchen today- ONCE AND FOR ALL! I have been putting it off because when the kitchen in the healing center is done I will be bringing most of the raw food appliances, etc. down there... Which will effectively mean that I have to do the kitchen overhaul twice, but whatever... It needs to be done. Every time I open the cabinet doors I see all sorts of "cook me!" food items and then I self sabotage so they are out of here! So hopefully I will have some new pictures of my resurrected, and now raw, kitchen for you all tomorrow. Besides I need a place to set up my Gayatri alter and the kitchen is always my preferred place. I don't know why, but this just seems to be the way I like it! Plus I think I am going to create some sort of Superfoods area to remind me to eat them and to energetically charge them with some crystal vibes. I have a feeling they will appreciate that!
Love to you all til tomorrow!
PS- it is so humid here that the stuff in the dehydrator is STILL not done... Hopefully, I will have a review of all that for you tomorrow.

Purple day, today...

2007-07-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

My little prince is feeling a little under the weather... Strange thing for him to do. He doesn't usually feel ill. I'm sure he will be well soon, but some love vibes from the Universe (and you, too, of course!) sure would help!
I went outside to take some pictures because it has been sort of misty/hazy today and I thought it would be a good effect for the photographs. So I noticed as I was loading the pictures into the computer, practically everything I took a picture of was purple! Amethysts, hydrangea (not even usually purple, BTW), and hosta blooms...
So here are some pictures of my purple friends!
I have some chocolate cookies, flax crackers, and sesame crackers in the dehydrator... More on that tomorrow!

Firing the Grid!

2007-07-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Me, my Mom, and dh Felix all participated in firing the grid this morning at 7:11 am E.S.T. It was amazing. The most powerful and interesting meditation I have ever had. I began by mentally forming and projecting my intention to share my love energy with the Earth and all of humanity. Almost as soon as I did this I entered a deep meditative, trance-like state, little of which I remember now. I just remember feeling deep unity and peaceful love. Then at EXACTLY 8:11 am, at the precise moment we were to end our meditation, my son Lincoln woke up and greeted us all with some morning love. What a blessed way to be so gently lifted from such a beautiful experience. All of my thanks and love go out to Shelley Yates for making this beautiful vision of what humanity really is available to us all. Love love love!

Since it is supposed to rain for the next few days, my Mom went out and picked most of the floral bounty she has been so busy nurturing. So now we have a botanical explosion in the living room... What beauty! Here is a pic to share it with you all...

inspired...

2007-07-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

I am re inspired in my rawness. I think it is the cases of beautiful mangoes and the new outside shower that Felix lovingly installed the day before yesterday. I am loving my life! I am feeling like I may put a new twist on my raw strategy. We will have to wait and see how it all takes shape. As for now I am sitting in the sun writing to you while my little son sits next to me on the other computer learning how to read. I am so thankful and grateful for the abundance of blessings in my life...

If you haven't already PLEASE check out www.firethegrid.org

One love and all blessings...

Flax to the MAX!

2007-07-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

I made some wicked-good flax seed crackers yesterday! WoW! I think I might have written down the recipe...
Felix is getting ready to rip down the ceiling in the main studio space and I admit it is freaking me out just a wee bit...
So many beautiful opportunities abounding and so much love swirling all around me! It is good to be alive. I love raw food and just about everything else, too.
I have been pretty much all raw, except for a couple of "carbohydrate accidents"... My new mantra is "Bread is not my friend"
I have lost another 5 lbs. bringing my grand total to 30 lbs. gone! I'm picking up momentum now! Watch me go! Look at me shrink!

You know you are a raw fooder when...

2007-07-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

You find yourself sitting in your car eating your lunch of calymyrna figs and HOT & SPICY raw Kim-Chi washing it down with Ginger Kombucha tea loving every minute of it...

What restaurant could you get that combo in, seriously?

I loved my lunch today!

I have arrived!

2007-07-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

So we made it to my Mom's house in SE Connecticut and it only took 27 hours of driving! Lincoln was such a good boy the entire trip and only freaked out one time after we had been stuck in traffic and didn't move an inch for over an hour! Believe me, I wanted to freak out too! We packed a bunch of gorgeous raw food for the trip and made it all the way to New Jersey before we ran out of real food and ended up with a bag of potato chips... Oh well... We noticed on our trip up here that there are virtually no non-franchise restaurants along the entire 1440 miles of I95 that we travelled from South Florida to Connecticut. All we wanted to do was find a little restaurant to get a salad made with real veggies that weren't dipped in chemicals, pre-cut, and shipped across the country in plastic baggies. We were unable to locate one. Not even an independent pizza place. Really, really weird.

Anyhow, we are here and eating masses of peaches and working, working, working!

Love and light to all of you out there.
Blessings.

Dream a little dream...

2007-06-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

This will probably be the last post I make here for a few days because we are finally leaving tomorrow morning for CT. Yippee! I am so excited about what the future holds for us there. You see, my Mom's house is on this piece of really nice riverfront commercial property. My husband has his workshop there, it used to be our horse barn... and my Mom has all of these gorgeous gardens that she has been creating and cultivating for 20 years. They are stunning. Most of the pictures on my blog are of her gardens/property. We also have a 2 great little sheds/carriage houses that used to house some more of the past animal menagerie. So now all the animals are gone on to nice new homes and we have room for a new endeavor... So, I am creating a CENTER FOR HOLISTIC LIVING!!! Including classes and workshops (nutritional healing, superfoods, classes in vegan/raw vegan food preparation, Reiki classes/sessions, organic gardening, Feng Shui, elemental design, trash to treasure, composting, beekeeping, edible landscaping, making your own organic personal care products, art classes for kids and adults, Kombucha tea classes, massage therapy, etc.) Adjacent to the workshop area is a boutique area where I can sell all of my beauty products, informational booklets and books, food products, etc. We are also going to rent out and cater for events up to 100 people, specializing in weddings for non-traditional couples, you know spiritual non-religious kind of folks. There is a field of native wildflowers that we will be harvesting and selling as cut flowers along with all the organic herbs and veggies that we grow. One of the small buildings near the road will be the farm stand area. I also have ideas about creating a tea room/juice bar in the near future. And we will also be hosting weekly community Reiki healing circles, guided meditations, and RAW FOOD POTLUCKS!!!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I feel like my life is finally taking off and moving on to the next level. And the best thing is that all the stuff we need to start this whole project is already right there! It is great and I feel so blessed.

What a difference a day makes...

2007-06-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

I just re-read my entry from yesterday and I can honestly say that I am feeling so much better today. When I went to bed last night, I gave myself a good talking to and reiterated that I am the only one responsible for my life and what I make of it. I was honest with myself and decided that I needed some sort of a plan to proceed with this fantastic raw lifestyle. I know that I am a powerful woman who can accomplish much if I put my mind to it. I also realize that I need to invest some faith in this process of healing myself and my life. So that led me to begin thinking about how much I underestimate myself and also how much of a perfectionist I am. I have realized that the reason that I like to cook is because it is second nature to me and I am always guaranteed a good result and at least a few compliments from whomever the lucky diners happen to be. I now realize that I could achieve the same thing with raw food prep if I just put a little more practice into it. I mean I am already quite good at it... It took me quite a while to get to be an excellent cook and I already know that it won't take as long to master raw food as most of the principles are similar. It all boils down to the fact that I need to be a little more patient with myself and allow my passion for creating gorgeous raw food to simmer a little longer.

So now I have a declaration to make. I am a raw foodist. I have decided this and now it is so. I am committed to and believe in a raw vegan lifestyle for health and ethical reasons. I love living food and what it does for me as a whole person. In this spirit I move forward on my journey.

So there...